Love Is Watching Someone Die
by unicornhime
Summary: What if Edward had gotten to Port Angeles too late and was faced with Bella begging him to do everything in his power to save her? She knows he has the power no one else does...what will he do? One night changes everything. AU *MAY CONTAIN RAPE TRIGGERS*
1. Too Late

_Author's Notes: And another new story begins! According to the poll, you'd rather have me post as I go, no matter how sporadic. So I'm going to post this chapter and try to write fairly consistently, but I can't promise anything. I'm working on an original piece, too, as well as working two jobs, so my time's kind of packed. But this is how I unwind, so I'm good to go. _

_The unique thing about this story is that each chapter is inspired by a challenge over at various livejournal communities. It started as a one-shot with this first chapter, but I got so much great feedback and a desire for more that I wrote another chapter. And now I'm working on the third. My projects have a tendency to get out of hand, yes? This takes place during Twilight, starting off when Bella goes to Port Angeles with Angela and Jessica.  
_

_Disclaimer: Characters to Stephenie Meyer, I'm just playing with them._

**Chapter One**

Too Late

"Geez, Edward, calm down," Emmett said with a knowing smirk. "All your jittering is making me nervous."

I glared at him, but stopped my restless pacing back and forth and dropped down to lean against a sturdy looking tree. It wasn't long, though, before I began tapping my knee anxiously as I waited for him to finish his meal. He and I had been far north when we caught wind of a particularly large grizzly and took chase. He groaned as I stared him down impatiently, but didn't make any further comment, knowing it was useless.

That didn't stop him from thinking, though.

'_So impatient today. Amazing the effect a girl can have on the boy.'_

I felt a growl start in the back of my throat as he continued, unashamed. _'I know you can hear me, Edward, and you know it's true.' _He looked maddeningly smug as I refused to justify his remark with any further comment.

"Just hurry up," was my grumbled reply.

My phone vibrated against the rough fabric of my jeans and I whipped it out, glancing at the caller ID. Alice. She was back in Forks with the others, why would she need to call me? My brow furrowed in confusion as I answered.

"Yes, Alice?"

"Edward," her voice was hesitant, uncertain, as if she didn't want to deliver this particular message. It put me on edge instantly. My muscles tensed automatically and she continued. "You need to get to Port Angeles," she said in a rush.

I sprung up immediately, running off without bothering to explain to Emmett, ignoring his shouts of protest at being left behind.

"What happened, Alice? What did you see?"

She hesitated again and I wanted to throw the phone in frustration. "It's Bella. She's in trouble."

Suddenly her words starting spilling out like water as my breath caught. "Edward, I'm so sorry. It was a spur of the moment decision, they hadn't planned anything until they saw her, I didn't know, couldn't see…"

I couldn't run fast enough. I hung up and raced to where we had left the cars. I felt like I was trudging through the heaviest mud, through solid rock. Even as I wrenched open the car door and threw my phone on the passenger seat, slammed the gas pedal down, pushing the speedometer as high as it would go, it felt like I was moving backwards, like time was moving too fast. Time, which usually meant nothing to me, was suddenly inexplicably precious.

Mercifully the sun was setting as I reached the outskirts of the city in what was probably record time, and I abandoned the car knowing I would be much faster on foot on the city streets. I let the steady buzz of voices in my mind raise to a dull roar, searching for sign or mention of Bella, all the while trying to prepare myself for her scent to hit me. I stopped breathing as I caught the faintest whiff of her, steadying myself against the pull of her very being.

But nothing could have prepared me for what I found.

I was off before I knew where I was going. I found her in a dark alley, surrounded by male minds full of the most disgusting and most inhumane thoughts of unbridled and unchecked lust.

For Bella. My Bella.

Unchecked.

And I could not check my own fury.

All it took was the sight of Bella surrounded by these men, beaten and bleeding, her clothes ripped… and I gave into the monster that roared inside my heart.

There were four men, all facing away from me, their focus clearly on their prey. I punched the one closest to me so hard he was blown back into the brick wall behind him, crushing his skull, dead in an instant. I hadn't even had time to think, I simply acted.

The other three snapped their heads up at the sound and knew I was there now, the element of surprise gone. Two stood to face me as the third finished with the crumpled girl beneath him. It was no longer necessary for the two hunters to hold their prey down while the third partook – she was far too weak and broken to fight back.

I wanted them to suffer.

I could taste the adrenaline and fear, still refusing to breathe even as my maddened mind screamed with desire. The two lunged toward me, shouting and cursing, too angry to realize I had already killed one of their comrades. I stood still and poised before them, tense, coiled and ready to pounce.

They tried to take me from the sides, but I was much too fast for them and far too strong. I swung my arm around and punched the man on my left with deliberate aim. I heard the satisfying crunch of bone as I whipped around and gave his friend the same treatment. I'd broken skin. The fresh sight of bright red blood gleaming in the moonlight assailed my senses and blinded me. The mere sight of it started the flow of venom in my mouth.

I simply lashed out with all of my might, crushing anything that came near me, then shoved it away before I surrendered to my senses and drank. I wanted them dead and I wanted them to rot.

Somewhere in the commotion the fourth man wizened up and realized he had no chance of survival. He tried to make a run for it, leaving his three dead buddies behind him without a second thought.

He didn't make it very far.

The alley was a dead end and the only way out was past me. Foolish human tried to outrun me.

I let him think he was almost free before bodily slamming him against the brick. His head slapped against the wall with a dull crack so heavy it was clear I'd broken bone. His body went slack. A piece of fractured skull cut his spinal cord, his eyes lost focus as I bared my teeth in anger. I knew he was still conscious – barely coherent pleading for mercy filled his thoughts.

But I was far too gone to remember mercy.

I threw him once more against the wall in a fit of rage. His heart finally stopped and the red blood stopped flowing. The blood was calling to me and I craved it. I couldn't remember why I couldn't have it.

Then an angel spoke and I suddenly remember with alarming clarity.

"Edward?" Bella's voice – so soft and weak – called me.

Oh no. Please no. She hadn't been conscious for that. Please tell me that she hadn't seen me like that. If my heart could have stopped, it would have.

I was at her side in a blink of an eye and cradled her head as gently as I could, adamantly not breathing. If I breathed now, I wouldn't be able to resist. She was so utterly helpless. Bruises were already forming on her arms and face, one leg looked broken, blood pooled around her. Her breathing was labored, as if each breath hurt. Her ribs must be broken, too.

She struggled to keep her eyes open, searching for me. "You really came…" she said weakly, voice full of wonder. "You…"she could seem to find the strength or breath to finish.

"Oh Bella, I'm so sorry. I should have gotten here sooner…I should have stayed near you. I should have been here. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I didn't care that I was supposed to be ignoring her. It was far past time to stop that game.

Her heartbeat was agonizingly slow. Each beat threatened to be the last and her eyes fluttered shut.

"Don't," she breathed, "'s my own…stupid fault…danger magnet, remember?" She attempted a weak smile, tearing at my heart. Of course she would blame herself.

I didn't know what to do. Carlisle was too far away to help, and by the time even I got her to a hospital it could be too late.

Her soft voice interrupted my racing mind. "Edward," her eyes met mine in a piercing gaze. "I'm dying. I can feel it."

I could feel it too. Every sense was screaming this at me and I could not ignore it. "No, no, you'll be fine," I tried to reassure her. I didn't believe me, and it was clear that she didn't either.

Her eyes never left mine. "You can save me," she whispered.

I exhaled the stale air in my lungs, "You don't know what you're asking,"

"I don't want to die." She begged me. "Please."

"I don't know if I can," I admitted fearfully in a whisper.

"Please." Her lids fell shut.

I looked around hopelessly, searching for some kind of answer, something to help me, even though I already know it was hopeless. She was dying, and there was no stopping it.

But I could not lose her.

My frantic eyes landed on the still-warm bodies strewn about the dark alleyway. Perhaps…

"Edward," one last silent plea fell from her lips.

It might have been the most selfish thing I've ever done and ever will do, but I could not watch her die.

I laid her back on the cold cement as gently as I could. She whimpered in protest and fear and I brushed one hand against her cheek. "Shh, I'm not leaving you."

Truthfully, I don't think I could've left her. But there was no one to stop me if I lost control, so I needed to take as many precautions as possible – even it was only this one thing.

Perhaps if I drank my fill before biting her, it would be easier to stop. It wasn't much of a plan, but I had to try. It was all I had.

I quickly made my way to the nearest body, picked it up and hesitated a split second before biting into his neck, preparing myself. The venom pooled in my mouth like saliva.

I bit down and drank the still-cooling blood.

The rush! It had been so long since I had tasted human blood that I had forgotten how powerful it made me feel! The vampire in me took over, draining the corpse in minutes, moving on to the next without thought or hesitation. I was an animal, acting purely on instinct. I was on the hunt, and I would have my reward.

I didn't regain my sense of thought until the second body was drained and I began to feel full. I drained the third and felt gorged. Half way through the fourth I felt as if I could drink no more. I finished anyway, just for good measure.

Their strength was mine now. Human blood coursed through my veins, and I felt more alive, more on fire than I had in decades. I wanted to run and see how fast I was. I wanted to hunt just for the thrill, to see how powerful I was.

Then I saw Bella's limp form and my veins froze. My task, my sin lay before me, waiting.

I had not taken a breath since I had entered the alley and I did not dare breathe now with the thrill of the feast still in the back of my mind. Her heartbeat seemed impossibly slow and the dull thud filled my ears. I squared my shoulders and faced her. I could do this. My bloodlust was momentarily satisfied. I could drink no more.

I knelt beside her once more.

"Bella," I whispered, my lips at her ear, "Don't leave me…"

My teeth hovered over her throat, poised.

I prayed.

And then I sank my teeth in.


	2. Fairytale

_Author's Notes: Thank you for your wonderful reviews! You all are amazing. Also, I've seen several authors offer incentives for reviews, like little extras. I would like to do that. So, when you review, make sure you are signed in or leave an email and I will send a quote from the next chapter. A little preview, per se. For future reference, let me know what you'd like to see, like POV of a scene I'd written already or something. It'll be cool. :) _

_The prompt for this chapter was simply "Fairytale." I had fun._

_Chapter Two _

_Fairytale_

I'm not sure what I expected when I begged Edward to save me. After Jacob's stories on the beach, I knew I should be afraid, that I should run and keep as far away from the Cullens as possible.

But I couldn't.

I couldn't explain the rush of relief that washed over me the instant I heard his voice. I couldn't explain the way the pain just vanished, the way that all I could feel was his presence. And I certainly couldn't explain the perverse happiness I felt in this moment.

It was a struggle to keep my eyes open but I had to see him and his beautiful face. His perfect eyes locked with mine as I convinced – pleaded with – him to save me.

When the light in his eyes shifted, I knew I had won and succumbed to the heavy weight of my body and the pain shooting through it. I lay limp on the cold concrete, struggling to breathe. Each breath brought a new stab of pain – broken ribs.

It hurt to move, but I could still listen. I listened hard for the sounds of Edward, desperate for the tiniest echo. He was silent as a ghost, but I heard the impossibly loud crack of bone and the thud of what must have been bodies crumpling to the ground. Was that him? Was he okay?

My heart beat heavily in my chest, an unfamiliar sensation – shouldn't it be racing with all the adrenaline in my system right now? I must be burnt out.

I could feel someone kneel beside me and I didn't even have the strength to tense up in fear.

"Bella," his beautiful voice at my ear broke through the fog closing in on me, laced with agony, "Don't leave me."

I must be hallucinating. The pain was finally addling my brain. But the still functioning part felt his ice cold lips on my skin in the gentlest caress.

And suddenly everything was crystal clear. His lips parted and his cool breath sent chills up my spine. I could feel his icy hands at my neck and waist, steadying me as he prepared himself for…whatever it was he was about it do.

In another flash of pain, I found out.

His surprisingly sharp teeth bit clear through the skin just above that large vein in my neck. In the last moment of clarity, I felt all my injuries – my left leg bent at an unnatural angle, ribs threatening to puncture a lung with each breath, a sharp burning in my core and between my legs, bruises on my arms and sides. And now, I could feel Edward at my neck, his moist tongue lapping up my blood as something foreign pumped into my veins, replacing the blood.

I couldn't even scream, I was in too much pain – it took all I had to keep breathing, willing my heart to keep beating, even if it was just the agonizingly slow rhythm it beat out now.

Then the fire started, like I was slowly being burnt alive. I couldn't take anymore and the world faded to black. The last thing I remembered was the feeling of Edward pulling away from me and scoop me up in his arms, sending yet another shock of pain wracking my body.

I don't know how long I was out, but when I woke, all I knew was that I _hurt._

I screamed and thrashed around, trying to escape whatever it was that was hurting me so badly, only to find my arms and legs restrained almost immediately. My struggles yielded no results and only forced the hold on me to tighten and new waves of pain to shoot through my broken limbs.

I clenched my teeth to stop the scream as the wave subsided briefly and I forced my eyes open. I needed to know what sort of hell held me captive.

I was in a dark room, lying on a large bed. My brain was too deep in the fog to make out any details. But a single clear voice cut through the clouds, low and full of an emotion that I could not identify.

"Oh Bella," It spoke, near my ear, "I'm so sorry. Hang in there, it will be over soon. I'm so sorry."

I didn't understand. But before I could drag myself above the fog to even try to comprehend, a fresh wave of pain crashed over me and all my energy was devoted to screaming.

It truly felt like I was on fire. Flames were licking every inch of my skin, _scorching_ every inch of my skin.

If this wasn't hell, I didn't know what was.

I squeezed my eyes shut and longed to pass out again, sure that the pain would do its job any second, but the seconds kept passing me by, turning to minutes, hours, days, an eternity. I don't know how long I lied there.

My heart was racing, threatening to burst right out of my chest. I felt sure it would explode. I couldn't contain it.

As the fire continued to consume me, I could feel…something changing within me. My body wasn't my own, something was happening and I didn't know what. All I knew was that it frightened me. I screamed until my throat went raw, but nothing helped. It felt like my bones were being torn apart and put back together, piece by agonizing piece.

And yet, through it all, there was a voice, an angelic voice, constantly at my ear, alternating between apologies and reassurances, but always there.

It made this hell bearable, somehow, just having that voice near, telling me it would end. Just _knowing_ there was an end kept my sanity in tact. Barely.

Time became truly meaningless as I continued to writhe, my heart racing impossibly fast, my breathing labored and uneven.

And then…it stopped. My heart stopped. Right as I thought it would truly explode or fly out of my chest, or spontaneously combust or _something_, it just stopped without warning.

I waited for death, for unconsciousness to finally claim me, but it never came.

The pain stopped in an instant. I froze, afraid if I moved an inch it would come back, afraid to even breathe.

After a gloriously painless moment, I dared to inhale.

Several things happened in that instant. I heard a sharp intake of breath at my side, alerting me that I was not alone.

More pressing, however, was that that breath meant I wasn't dead. I couldn't be – that breath held more life than I thought possible. That breath brought scents of fresh pine from the Washington forest, various perfumes, vanilla and something sweet I couldn't quite name, the faint smell of bleach stung my nostrils, as did some surprisingly familiar scents of hospital sterility. But the strongest was right in front of me. I was curled up on my right side, and the sweetest smell overrode all the others. It was new, and almost completely unfamiliar. I couldn't place it. Something sweet but not sugary. It was frustrating.

Even still, the most overriding sensation was an almost painful itch at the back of my throat. Compared to the pain I had endured for the past forever, it was nothing more that a tickle, but it was still there, gnawing at me, clamoring for attention. I didn't know how to make it stop, and swallowed several times, trying to rid myself of the sensation.

"Bella."

That worked. My angel's voice called to me again, velvet and anxious. It was wrong somehow to hear so much worry and pain in such a perfect voice.

"Bella, open your eyes, please," the voice pleaded. I was happy to comply. The angel must be here to save me from this hell.

It took a surprising amount of effort to wrench my eyes open after they had been closed so tightly for so long.

More surprising was the sight I beheld once they were open.

Edward Cullen knelt in front of me, face tight with what I might have called worry, but that wasn't possible. And yet I could see with a perfect clarity, clearer than I had ever seen before.

"Edward?" My voice was raspy, and my throat constricted painfully as I tried to speak. "What happened? Why are you in hell, too?" Nothing was making sense.

He laughed once, the hard sort of laugh that was more from relief than any real amusement. "You're not in hell. At least, not in the traditional sense." His face hardened.

I still didn't understand and told him so.

"Do you remember anything that happened?"

I thought hard, but all I could remember was pain. And an angel's voice. His voice.

When I didn't answer, he spoke again, "You asked me to save you. You begged me." He eyes took on an overcast gloom and he looked away. "I didn't want to lose you like that."

Lose me? I still didn't understand. I struggled to remember what happened. I went to Port Angeles with Jessica and Angela in search of dresses for the dance. I had wanted to find a decent bookstore and Jessica pointed me toward one. It wasn't quite what I was looking for, so I started to explore on my own. And then…

Oh.

The memory came back in a painful flash of recognition.

My eyes must have shown the moment the memory came back because Edward tensed and the words started spilling from his perfect lips, almost faster than I could catch them.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. If I'd had any idea what was about to happen to you, I would have been there sooner. I should have been there sooner. I should have watched you more carefully. I should have done _something_. I will never -"

"Stop it." He looked at me in surprise, and I couldn't blame him – I didn't even know what I was doing. "It's not your fault. If I have to tell you a million times, I will. These things happen, and the usually happen to me."

"But," he started to protest, but I cut him off.

"I don't want apologies or excuses. I just want to know what happened."

I sat up, more easily than I would have guess and motioned for him to sit. He looked so miserable, kneeling on the floor like that. He reluctantly sat in a chair not far from the bed. He looked like he had been sitting there before, if the ease in which he settled himself in it was any indication.

"Now. Explain."

He still looked uneasy, as if he didn't know where to start or how to say the words.

"You asked me to save you, as if you knew I could do more for you than anyone else."

Images of talking with Jacob on the beach suddenly flashed through my mind.

Edward continued warily, "It was as if you could see through me. I didn't what else to do. So did what I could. And now…" he trailed off and wouldn't meet my eyes.

"I'd heard stories," I confessed. "At the beach with Mike and everyone." I edited the details, just a little. "A bunch of kids from the reservation joined us for scary stories around the campfire." I stopped suddenly realizing what he must have done to me.

"And?" He prompted, clearly anxious.

I looked at him in a daze. "Your family came up. Lauren baited me. I got one of the boys to explain what they meant." I tried to get him to meet my gaze. "Is it true?"

"True?"

"Is your family…are you a vampire?" I gulped.

He finally looked back at me, his eyes a startling scarlet and unreadable.

"Yes."

"And when you saved me…Edward, did you bite me?" I asked breathlessly, already knowing the answer.

He nodded.

I stared at him in disbelief. We sat there silently for a long time while I digested this.

"Some Prince Charming I turned out to be," Edward said bitterly, breaking the silence and staring at this hands.

"What?" I asked, startled out of my reverie.

"I tried to come to your rescue and instead damn you for eternity. This is the worst fairytale ending I've ever heard."

"Are you serious?" I couldn't tell, he wouldn't look at me again.

"I've never been more serious in my life, Bella." The way he said my name still sent a thrill through me. "Don't you understand what's happened?"

He looked up, trapping me with his inescapable gaze. I shook my head slowly, suddenly unable to form a coherent thought.

"I bit you," he enunciated each word as if they were heavy weights pulling him down. His expression was so tortured. I didn't know what to do. "You're one of us now. A vampire."

"I figured that out already." I managed to say. "So?"

"So?" He repeated, shocked. "So? I just told you you've been changed into a vampire, and you say 'so'?"

I shrugged. "Well, yeah. I mean it's a little unusual, but it can't be that bad."

"A little unusual? Can't be that bad?" He stared at me like I'd gone insane.

"You heard me, stop repeating what I say." I shifted uncomfortably.

"I heard you, I just can't believe you."

"Well," I started, trying to explain my logic. "You're a vampire, right? But I feel safe around you. I can tell you're still a good person." Now I was the one struggling for words. "I mean, you tried to save me, so I know you have a good heart. And Jacob – the boy on the beach – said you weren't supposed to be dangerous. You still go to school and everything." I gave up as his stare unnerved me. "_What_?" I asked, annoyed.

"Bella, I don't think you understand. You're a vampire now."

"I know." I was getting frustrated. "And it doesn't matter."

He looked like he was about to protest again and I interrupted him, "Tell me, then, what my reaction should be. Since I seem to be doing it wrong."

"You should be screaming, or going into shock, or _something_." He got up and started pacing.

"I feel fine. Drained, and my throat hurts, but fine."

He flinched as I mentioned my throat. "What?" I asked.

"You're thirsty," he said simply.

"Thirsty?"

"What does a vampire drink, Bella?"

It hit me then. "Oh. But…you're different somehow, aren't you?"

He resumed pacing – he had frozen once I mentioned my thirst. "I – and my family, for that matter – we don't want to be monsters. We drink blood, yes, but only from animals, much like eating meat when we were human. We do what we can to retain some of our humanity."

"Oh."

"And now you're thirsty. You need to hunt." He hesitated, "I can show you if you like."

"Please."

"You're free to leave after we're done, of course. Just," he paused again, "stay away from humans for awhile."

"Why?" I prompted when he didn't elaborate.

"Just promise me you will." His eyes suddenly burned. "I couldn't bear it if you turned into a monster because of me."

I nodded dumbly, and followed him out the door, wondering how on earth my life had taken such a turn. Here I was, a newly turned mythical creature with the most beautiful man I'd ever seen as my knight in shining armor.

Some fairytale indeed.


	3. Sunrise

**AN: Thank you for such great reviews! They really make my heart so happy. And don't forget, if you review, I'll send you an extra scene or something!**

**This chapter was really hard to write and I don't know why. But it's nice and long. I hope you like it!**

* * *

Chapter Three

Sunrise

It was still dark outside when she finally stopped shaking from the pain. Fitting that she should wake up to this nightmare in the middle of the night.

_'Edward Cullen, don't you dare start wallowing now.'_ Alice's none-too gentle thoughts chided me from the lower level where she and the rest of my family waited anxiously. I tried to ignore her, but she was persistent. _'I'm serious, Edward. That's not what she needs right now. Answer her questions and take her hunting. Jasper and I will follow, to keep her calm and in check, just in case.'_

I winced at the thought of "just in case," but followed her request nevertheless. Bella was guaranteed to be terrified and I needed to do anything I could before I could even think to atone for what I'd done.

And yet, she wasn't screaming. She wasn't fleeing in terror. She was barely even _shaken_ for heaven's sake.

I'd called her name, begged her to open her eyes. Not only did she calmly comply, but she _stayed_ calm, even after I'd explained the atrocity that had befallen her.

I didn't understand. This girl, who'd already confused me with her hidden mind, frustrated me, threw me out of my element. And her transformation didn't open her mind to me in the slightest, much to my chagrin.

She followed me willingly out of the house and into the forest. I could hear Alice and Jasper close behind and wondered if Bella would recognize the sound of their pursuit.

"We'll need to go further into the forest," I said curtly. She nodded without hesitation. What could possibly be going through her mind? She didn't even look scared! Nervous, maybe a little apprehensive perhaps, but not scared.

I kept stealing glances out of the corner of my eye, but her demeanor never changed. If anything, she relaxed as she fell in step beside me.

I broke into a light rule and she was only a split second behind, falling back in place almost immediately.

Her face had the strangest expression – she looked…happy? Exhilarated? She wasn't afraid of racing through the forest, she kept pushing the pace, going faster and faster, as if to test her new limits. Before long we hit full speed. Alice and Jasper were falling behind, and even I began to struggle to keep up with her newborn speed.

She darted through the underbrush easily, like a shadow dancing in the darkness that surrounded us. The sliver of moon that hung overhead was more than enough light for her new vampire eyes, bright with excitement.

But she was beginning to pull too far ahead. "Bella," I called, hesitantly, softly.

She spun around at the sound of her name, startled, but her momentum carried her crashing through the trunk of a thick oak in her path. The wood splintered on impact, shooting off in every direction and she landed with a look of shock on her delicate features, sprawled across the forest floor with an awkward and resounding thud.

"Bella!" I cried out and raced to her side. Instinctively I scanned her for injuries, panic flooding my veins.

It wasn't until her laughter rang out a full ten seconds later that I realized how ridiculous my panic was – she was made of much tougher stuff than that tree.

But her laughter puzzled me, and I watched her curiously. "What's so funny?" A smile tugged at my own lips, her high spirits contagious.

"I just pummeled that tree," she giggled, "I'm still as clumsy as ever." She smiled up at me, pouting slightly. "I thought I would at least stop running into things. You're always so graceful."

I grinned wryly. "You're still you."

She sighed and started to right herself. I offered my hand and she took it, throwing me a grateful look as she stood.

I pulled back as soon as she regained her balance, perhaps even a moment before, judging from her 'surprised look. It had been the first time I'd touched her since she'd…been changed.

The startling electricity was still there, dancing between our palms and wreaking havoc on my emotions. My breath caught and my eyes flashed to hers, wondering if she felt it, too. Not know what she was thinking was going to drive me mad.

But the thing that caused me to pull away so quickly was the coolness of her skin. She was no longer deliciously warm and soft, and guilt swamped me. She wasn't cold, but she wasn't hot, either. She was…room temperature, I suppose. Cool enough to notice, but not so cold it was uncomfortable to touch. If I'd never touched her as a human, I might not have registered the difference.

But, as things stood, I felt it most keenly.

"You'll get used to it. The speed, I mean," I offered, somewhat awkwardly, addressing her earlier complaint.

She sighed. "I suppose." She brushed herself off, "What did you want?"

I looked at her blankly and she elaborated, "You called me name."

Oh, right. "We're far enough away from civilization to run into some animals now, and you were going a bit too fast."

She eyed the splintered oak, surveying the damage. It looked like a tornado had just ripped through that one spot. "I noticed."

I had to grin at that. She turned her gaze back to me, "Wait, too fast? There's such thing as too fast for you?"

I chuckled, "Yes. Newborns are faster and stronger because they have so much of their own human blood left in their system. I was beginning to have trouble keeping up."

She looked at me incredulously, "I'm faster than _you_?"

"For a little while, yes."

"Wow." She looked down at herself with new eyes. "I knew my body was different, but I didn't realize it was _that_ different."

"Like I said, you'll get used to it." She had plenty of time, after all.

Time.

She had all of eternity, trapped in that body. The guilt came back to gnaw at my bones.

She shifted uncomfortably as my sudden silence and abrupt change in mood. "I suppose," she muttered.

Now I felt guilty for making her uncomfortable. Great. I tried to focus on the task at hand – she needed to feed. I was surprised she hadn't been overtaken by her thirst yet, she had to be starving.

I took stock of the scents permeating the air. There were elk surprisingly close. A newborn should have caught the scent and taken off immediately, conscious thought overruled by primal instincts. I eyed Bella curiously. She was examining her surroundings and seemed to be in perfect control.

"Do you smell anything?" I asked.

"I smell _everything_," she answered truthfully. "Am I looking for something in particular?"

"Anything edible?"

She crinkled her nose. "I think so. Sort of musky and woodsy, but more…alive. What is that?"

"Elk." I carefully watched her reaction. She should be going into a frenzy. Instead…

"Oh," she said simply, unruffled. "So now what? I've never really gone hunting before. With or without guns."

Faintly confused, I answered, "When we hunt, we go by pure instinct, which is another reason we had to run so far. Do you feel any instinctive pull?"

"Is that what that is?" She looked somewhat relieved. "I – or my body, I guess – is just itching to chase that scent down. I personally have no idea what I want." Her expression turned sheepish at this confession.

I scowled. This was not how things were supposed to happen.

My own new born moments were as clear in my perfect vampire memory as if they'd happened only yesterday. I'd been confused and scared, yes, but above all, I'd been thirsty. I'd never known such thirst. As soon as Carlisle had identified what that burning my throat meant, I'd taken off like a bat out of hell, killing the first creature with a beating heart I'd run into – a stray dog that had been poking about in the wrong place at the wrong time. Of course that had done nothing more than quench the thirst and I'd shot off into the forest that surrounded Carlisle's home, taking down two deer before coming to my senses. I'd been pure instinct, pure monster.

But this girl, she was still in complete control. I was utterly baffled.

My scowl deepened in frustration and she spoke again, "Did I do something wrong?"

I jerked up in surprise, trying to compose my face into what I hoped was a kinder expression. "No. You're just…not what I expected."

"Is that I good thing or a bad thing?"

I studied her carefully before answering. Her pale while pace reflected the moonlight, her ruby eyes alight with excitement from the run, but also touched with worry.

"A puzzling thing," I decided finally.

Silence filled the space around us like a thick blanket as neither of us knew quite what to do. I felt slightly smothered with uncertainty, a completely foreign emotion to me.

"Maybe if I watched you?" She suggested finally, breaking the uneasy stillness. Isn't that how babies in the wild learn to hunt? By watching?"

Watch me? She wanted to watch me hunt? Was she insane?

_'Oh get off your high horse, Edward,' _Alice's thought filtered through my shock, much to my annoyance. She and Jasper must be getting restless. Or bored. _'It's a good idea and it won't scare her. She's spent enough time with her father to understand hunting equals survival.'_

I huffed at her implications and tried not to let my annoyance creep into my voice as I spoke again. "I suppose we could try that. Think you can keep up?"

Her eyes flashed, "Didn't you just say I was faster than you?"

I flinched and remembered how her temper could flare, "I meant to learn by watching, if that would be enough or if I needed to explain, too."

"I think the time for me to be 'not smart' is over," she said dryly, clearly recalling our early attempts at friendship. And clearly annoyed at my opinion of her intelligence. Had it really only been a few days since we'd spoken in the cafeteria? That was the last day I'd seen her at school. The day Mr. Banner did blood typing in class and she'd fainted. I wondered if her aversion to blood was so strong it had carried over. Curious.

I cleared my throat. "Point taken. Follow me, then, please."

I stalked toward the elk's scent with Bella at my heels, her sharp eyes intent on my every movement. It made me feel strangely self-conscious, and I found it difficult to empty my mind to my instincts like I normally did.

I took a deep breath, letting the monster inside me growl softly in anticipation, all the while trying to ignore how appealing the girl beside me still smelled.

Once we reached the clearing, everything happened very quickly. In seconds and flashes of teeth and hooves, the animal was down and I was at its neck, drinking in blood like it was air. It was still warm as I took one last gulp, coming back to my self. I stood, anxiously meeting Bella's scrutinizing gaze. The whole thing had only taken a few minutes, if that.

She was very still, clearly deep in thought. Her eyes had darkened and were unfocused.

"Bella?" My voice was uncertain. Now was the time for the running and screaming, right?

She seemed to mentally shake herself and her vision cleared. To my intense surprise, she smiled, a determined look on her face. "I can do that," she said confidently.

"Can you now?" I goaded her, trying to hide my worry.

Her eyes flashed again, the moonlight reflecting in a dangerous glint, "Watch me."

And I did. Oh, how I watched her. While not as practiced and as graceful as I was, she was still a beautiful thing to see. She all but flew across the forest floor in hot pursuit. When she reached her prey, she sprang, muscles coiling and erupting and her target went down, throwing dirt and pebbles in an explosive cloud. A bit overzealous and much noisier than I had been, but nevertheless effective. She found the vein in its neck and bit down eagerly, then drank greedily. The bite wasn't clean and blood spilled down her front.

I couldn't stop staring at her. She must have felt my eyes and looked up at me suddenly, clearly self-conscious. I looked away, ashamed. How dare I admire her when I'd committed such a crime by turning her into this hunter? Did Alice truly know best? Maybe it would be better if I'd left, if I'd spend time in Denali for awhile. I knew Tanya would be more than happy to see me again, but enduring her over-solicitous nature would be worth it a thousand times over if it meant not hurting Bella with my presence. If that was all I had to endure for her to be happy, I would be more than willing.

_'Don't even think about it, Edward!' _Alice's thoughts were thick with threat and took full advantage of the fact that I couldn't argue back. _'Leaving is just about the worst thing you could do right now. She needs you as much as you need her.'_

I grimaced at her rebuke, glad Bella was looking elsewhere, distracted by the carcass in front of her. How could she possibly need me? Alice could sense my disbelief. _'Just trust me on this one, Edward. Promise.'_

I sighed, still not entirely convinced, but willing to give in for now, however begrudgingly, and turned my attention back to Bella.

She was standing awkwardly, once again unsure of what to do with herself. She kept glancing at me nervously, eyes flitting from mine to her kill to the setting moon.

I cleared my throat, equally unsure of how to continue. This would be so much easier if I could just read her mind! She startled at the sound and our eyes finally locked. "What are you thinking?" I whispered, unable to hold back the question and longer. It was so frustrating not knowing!

A small smirk played on her lips, "Don't you know?"

A run a shock shook me as I realized we hadn't discussed my particular gift. "No, and it's driving me crazy. How much do you know about me, anyway?"

She shrugged, "I don't really _know_ much, but I have more theories." She eyed me curiously. "Can you really read minds?"

"All but one," I answered seriously, continuing on to explain the general mechanics of it. She seemed entirely too relieved at this revelation and proud of herself that she remained a mystery to me.

"Why do you think that is?" Her gaze was intense and she bit her lip nervously.

"I don't know," I answered truthfully, curious at the nervous tone in her voice. "I've never run into anything like it before."

She sighed, "So my brain's broken. I knew it."

I had to laugh at that, "Your brain isn't broken, it's special. It's not a piece of faulty merchandise."

She rolled her eyes, but moved on. "And the others? Your family? Can they read minds, too?"

I shook my head and explained. "Carlisle has his own theories, he thinks we bring traits from our human lives. Our natural senses are enhanced to such a degree that if we have one particular trait already well-developed, it becomes even more so in this state." I told her about Alice and Jasper's natural abilities.

She looked thoughtful as she considered this new information. "I wonder what I brought from my life. Do you think it has something to do with why I didn't react to the blood scent like you thought I should?"

Perceptive. And quite possibly correct.

She continued to ask me questions about this new life she found herself thrust into, and continued to surprise me with how much she had guessed for herself. The sky began to lighten as a new day followed the night, as it always did.

As we talked, I caught myself staring at her, admiring her. Whenever this happened, I quickly looked away, pacing, impatient with myself. I couldn't let myself admire this creature who was clearly too beautiful both inside and out to be meant for me. She took everything so coolly, asking questions not only about her new life, but about me as well. I found myself mesmerized by the sound of her voice and the light in her eyes as she spoke.

The sun finally rose, and as the clear beams hit our skin, facets of light danced across the meadow where we stood. I heard Bella gasp and turned to face her again.

If I thought she was lovely in the night as we hunted, she was nothing short of astonishing as she stood in the dawn's light. She seemed in a daze as she stepped towards me, one hand lightly outstretched, as if reaching out to touch me.

"You're not breathing," I sounded anxious, and prayed she didn't notice.

Startled, she took a sharp breath and withdrew her hand. She shook her head, clearing her thoughts. "Sorry, I…But I don't really need to anymore, do I?" She asked, still sounding somewhat distracted.

"No, I suppose not." Of course not. I'd killed her, I had to remind myself. The dead do not breathe.

"But…you're sparkling. _I'm_ sparkling."

"This is why we can't go out in the sun."

She paused and continued to stare, an awestruck look on her face. I'm sure I was a mirror image.

After an uneasy silence, I spoke again. "Would you like to return to the house and meet my family? And perhaps change into something less…macabre?"

She looked puzzled, but pleased as she looked down at her messy shirt sheepishly. "Yes, please.

As we ran back to the house, my mind flickered back to Alice's claim that Bella needed me as much as I needed her. I had never needed anyone but myself. I loved my family, yes, but I could still survive without them. I had, in the past. But this, this was something completely different. Like a comet pulled from orbit, my path was irrevocably altered. Until this moment, I hadn't realized that I not only needed her, wretched creature that I was...

I loved her.


	4. Piano Lessons

_AN: Happy Birthday, Edward Cullen! Haha, ok seriously, thank you guys so much for all your fabulous reviews! I heart you all to death._

_Also, a huge thanks to __Amethyst Jackson__ for kick-starting my muse with a little project we started over on livejournal. Check out her story, Only Human - it is fabulous. If you want to see what the project I'm talking about, the link to my writing journal is in my bio, and_ _you can find it there._

_You can also now find this story at Twilight(dot)net and A World Beyond, both fabulous archive sites. Go check them out! _

_Enjoy!_

* * *

**Chapter Four**

**Piano Lessons**

We made it back to the house in no time at all, thanks to the speed I don't think I'll ever get used to. At least I didn't it any trees this time. My cheeks burned just remembering that horrible incident – though could I blush anymore? I hadn't looked in a mirror since the change and I wasn't sure how it all worked.

I stole a glance at Edward beside me to see if he noticed anything. He seemed oddly distracted, as if deep in thought. I wanted to ask what he was thinking, but didn't for fear he would turn the question back to me – and I was _not_ inclined to share my particular thoughts anytime soon.

Because I was still clearly in love with him.

It didn't make any sense, but when was love ever sense-making?

He answered my questions with unending patience, each response pulling me closer and closer to him. I couldn't tell, but I think he was trying to scare me with some of his answers, though I never felt anything but curiosity. I couldn't se a reason to be scared. I might be a stronger…more intense version of myself, but I still felt very much Bella.

But his golden eyes were tinged with scarlet and despair. I'd asked about the scarlet, but couldn't bring myself to ask about the emotion I spied.

He opened the front door for me, a far-away look in his eyes. "Alice found some clothes for you and put them in my room. You can shower and change before you meet everyone if you'd prefer."

I looked at him in confusion, how'd he known what his sister had been up to?

He correctly read my expression and tapped his temple. Oh, the mind-reading. His face turned somewhat smug as my shoulders slumped; this was going to take some getting used to.

Climbing the stairs, I couldn't help but admire the house. He caught me looking and smiled, "I'll give you the tour once you're all cleaned up. I'm sure it's a little different from what you expected. "

He chuckled at my incredulous look as we passed an antique-looking wooden cross. "Just a bit," I muttered.

When we reached his room, he opened the door for me again. I stepped through the threshold, taking in the southern wall made entirely of glass, the opposite wall completely packed with CDs, and the rich gold curtains adorning the walls before noticing the neat stack of clothes on a colossal bed.

"I thought you said you don't sleep….why do you have a bed then?"

He shifted a bit, seemingly uncomfortable at my innocent question, before answering, "There are other uses for a bed, " he said vaguely.

"Are you going to explain that further?"

"No."

I sighed, of course not.

He picked up the clothes and handed them to me. "The bathroom is through there," he pointed. " Everything you need should be in there. Let me know if you need me."

I took the clothes without really looking at them and shut the door behind me. The bathroom looked like it belonged to a store model, not a teenage boy. Exasperated, I placed the clothes on the counter and stripped, turned on the shower and stepped in. The hot water felt sinfully good and I gratefully scrubbed myself clean. The blood and dirt washed away, and I felt a little more human.

I finished up as quickly as I could, not wanting to make Edward wait longer than necessary, but I still spent a fair amount of time in there. The hot water was too soothing to turn off quickly.

The clothes Edward – or Alice, rather – were very nice. The jeans fit perfectly, and the top was remarkably similar to the ruined blue one I'd been wearing earlier. I towel-dried my hair as best I could before returning to Edward's room.

He was perched on the bed, staring out the window at the forest below.

"Hey," I greeted him nervously. "Thanks for the clothes, they fit perfectly.

He smiled and turned his attention to me. "Esme picked them up while we were out. She figured you'd need something."

I was touched by her thoughtfulness. "That was sweet of her." I'd have to remember to thank her later.

He nodded and stood. "Would you like your tour now?" At my nod, he began. "This is my room obviously. You can explore it later, but I figured we could start here and work our way down."

He lead the way through the large and very beautiful home, pointing out the rooms and offices of his family members. Oddly enough, however, no one else seemed to be home.

"Where is everyone?" I finally asked as we reached the living room, our last stop of the tour, having not run into anyone else on the way.

"Giving us some pace. They didn't want to overwhelm you."

"Oh," was all I could say. Again, I was touched. I hadn't expected any of this – I didn't even know any of them!

I looked around the room we currently occupied, my attention drawn to the beautiful grande piano in one corner. "Do you play?" I asked, motioning towards it.

He smiled and nodded, "Would you liked me to play for you?"

I returned his smile eagerly, "Yes, please."

He sat at the bench and I stood a respectable distance behind him. "This is one of Esme's favorites," he said by way of introduction.

He took my breath away when the music began. It was _beautiful_. The way his fingers moved up and down the keys was hypnotic and I could feel myself closing the distance between us, just to be closer to that sound, until there was only a fraction of an inch between us.

I was perfectly as peace as the soothing song came to a close. Edward's fingers rested on the keys just a moment longer before turning to face me.

I don't think he expected me to be so close, but neither of us pulled away. He jumped when he saw me _right there_, but simply tilted his head back slightly to look up at me. He was so close, all either of us would have to do was move another inch and our lips would meet.

I found myself longing for just that to happen, but my muscles were frozen in his gaze. I didn't even breathe for fear that the slightest movement would startle him away. But he didn't move either, at first.

But then he turned all the way around and placed his hands on my waist as he stood up. Now it was my turn to tilt my face up to his.

"Did you like it?" His voice was husky, low.

I swallowed. "Very much." The sound that came out didn't sound like me at all – it mirrored his with its huskiness and something I could identify as desire in my own voice, but didn't know what to make of it in his. His hands burned where they rested lightly just above my hips.

He smiled as he lifted one hand and stroked my jaw line with a feather-light touch, his fingers stopping just below my lips, leaving a trail of fire in his wake. He was staring at my mouth and I was about to explode, waiting for him to move.

When he finally did, it was not the way I wanted or expected.

He tensed suddenly, and pulled away, an apologetic look on his face, though I couldn't imagine what he had to apologize for. He seemed to mentally shake himself, and the hungry look faded from his eyes. I tried to keep the disappointment from my own, but I don't know how well I succeeded.

He looked back towards the piano when he spoke again. "I'm glad you enjoyed it. Did you ever learn to play?"

I tore my eyes away from his face to gaze at the piano, too. "Only a little, when I was very young. I don't really remember much anymore," I admitted reluctantly.

He turned to me again, his expression gentle. "Would you like me to teach you?"

My face lit up. "I would love that! You wouldn't mind?"

"Of course not," he chuckled. "It would be my pleasure."

He motioned for me to sit, and I blinked in surprise. "Right now?"

"No time like the present," he grinned crookedly and I again wondered what was going on in that brain of his. I took a deep breath and tried to shake the stupor off that had befallen me when he'd stood so close.

I sat on the bench and he scooted it forward just a bit; his limbs were much longer than mine and I couldn't quite reach. After making a face at him as he chuckled, I placed my hands on the keys.

"How much do you remember?" he asked.

I fingered the keys idly as I answered, "I remember the names of the keys, and that my hands go here," I straightened and sat in the proper position for moment before relaxing and going back to pressing random keys, "But that's really about it. I could probably pick out some music if you had some for me to read, but I'd be really slow."

"That's alright," he said kindly and took the position I'd been in when he'd played. He reached around me and placed his fingers above mine, moving them to the correct keys. His breath tickled my ear as he spoke and I suddenly found it very difficult to concentrate on what he was teaching me. If I'd still been human I knew my face would resemble that of a cherry tomato right now and prayed fervently that I had not carried that particular trait over to my new life.

"Now," his velvet voice was at me ear again, "We can start with scales. This is the C Major scale." He pressed my fingers down on each key, up and down the scale, but all I could concentrate on was how his chest was pressed against my back as he leaned over me.

"I know scales seem boring," he spoke again, "But you need to basics before you can move any further, just like anything in life. You need a good foundation if you want to be successful." I detected a double meaning in his words, but didn't know what to make of it. "But before long, I'll have you playing like this."

His hands were still on mine as they began a new song. It started so simple, but so sweet, I didn't know what to do but let him move my hands with his as they danced across the black and white piano keys. The melody grew bittersweet, and he proceeded cautiously, as if making the song up on the spot. It didn't seem to end, but instead shifted back into the basic scale he was teaching me before.

"You see?" He whispered in my ear and I turned to face him, the last note still ringing in the still air. The look in his eyes was so intense I couldn't have looked away if I wanted to. There was something fierce and frightened at the same time. I think the music coupled with his eyes would have brought tears to my eyes if I wasn't so frozen.

I found the small part of my brain was still functioning and nodded, not trusting myself to speak.

"Good," His eyes flickered down to my lips once more and I wanted to tell him it was ok, that I wanted this, but I was still frozen and he didn't move an inch.

At least, until I heard the front door open with a bang and a high, excited voice called out his name, "Edward! We're home!"

He sprung away from me like I was a hot coal and was on the other side of the room before I could comprehend what had just happened, let alone blink, a guilty look coloring his features.

A short girl with pixie-short lack hair danced in to the room, and I had the vaguest of memories of Jessica pointing her out to me as Alice, one of Edward's sisters.

"Oh Bella, I'm so excited to finally meet you!" She sprang over to me and threw her arms around me, nearly knocking me off the piano bench that I was already somewhat precariously seated on.

"Give her some breathing room, Alice," A tall blonde – Jasper? – chuckled and looked at her fondly as he entered the room not far behind. "Hello, Bella."

Alice giggled as she pulled away, offering a hand to me as I stood. "Nice to meet you both," I said, smiling at Alice's exuberance and once again trying to clear my head of the spell Edward seemed to place on me.

"Alice," Edward greeted her with a hint of warning in his voice, but I couldn't imagine why.

She simply smirked at him and turned back to me, "Emmett and Rosalie are waiting to meet you, too. There's going to be a thunderstorm later, so we thought we'd play baseball tonight. They're still in the clearing." She got a mischievous look, "They're a little…preoccupied at the moment."

Edward shuddered, "Thank you for that image, Alice," he muttered, somewhat sarcastically.

I giggled, I could only imagine what he meant by that. "What about your parents?"

Alice and Edward both instantly tensed, and my eyes darting between the two in alarm.

"What? What is it?" They were making me nervous.

"They're in town," Alice began gently, "Helping Charlie." She looked at Edward, worried. Why was everyone on edge?

Images flicked through my mind and I suddenly remembered _who_ Charlie was. "Ohhh. Oh no!" I moaned, "Charlie!" How could I have possibly forgotten my own _father_? And he was all alone…and I was sure he'd call Renee, and she would be absolutely beside herself. On no. I could feel myself beginning to hyperventilate, taking too-fast breaths I didn't need.

"Now Bella," Edward tried to began, sensing the frantic nerves that were beginning to take hold of me.

"No, what happened to Charlie?!" I pushed him away, begging Alice for more information, my eyes wide.

"You've been missing for almost four days, Bella." Her voice was very soft.

I turned on Edward, "Why didn't you tell me?!"

He flinched, "I didn't realize…"

"How could you possibly not realize! I can't believe I forgot my dad!"

He looked to Jasper in desperation, "Can't you help her?"

Through my hysterics, I could see Jasper's frustration. "I'm trying," he said, "But it's obviously not helping."

"I have to go to him and tell him I'm ok." I turned to the door, but didn't even make it a foot before Edward's hands were on my arms.

"No." Edward was firm, blocking my way. "Bella, you're not 'ok.' If you get anywhere near him, your instinct will be to kill him for his blood. And I won't let you do that."

"You don't know that! You said before I should have been going crazy with bloodlust or whatever, but I didn't! I was fine!"

"You can't know that it will be the same with humans. Are you willing to take that risk with Charlie?"

His eyes held mine in desperation as I shook my head in denial. "Please," he begged me, "Please Bella, you have to understand."

"NO!" I shouted and struggled to pull free. I remember him telling me I was stronger than him and I pushed myself to my limits now. I managed to break free of his grasp.

"Jasper, help me!" He shouted and started to chase me down.

But I was already out the door, running as if my life depended on it.

_AN - Please don't hate me. And don't forget if you review, I send you a treat!_


	5. Angel

_AN- Holy freak, you guys. You really liked that last chapter, didn't you? Thank you all so much for your comments, my email was exploding all day long. It was fabulous. I hope I caught everyone. To those anonymous reviews, thank you, too! I love you all!  
_

_This chapter...well it was originally only going to be PART of the next chapter...but it got kind of out of control. And thanks to that, the prompt is very...nebulous. :D Also, I'd gotten a comment about including the POV to clear up to confusion, so I'll be doing that now, too.  
_

_At any rate, please enjoy, and don't forget to review! I have part of the next chapter written already, so reviewers get a sneak peak._

* * *

**Chapter Five**

**Angel**

_Edward POV_

I was out the door only a split second after her, shouting for Jasper's help and for Alice to cut her off if she could – Bella was still faster than me and I knew I wouldn't be able to catch her on my own.

And we _had_ to catch her. I didn't need Alice's vision to see how it would end. Even if Bella was able to resist – a nearly impossible task in and of itself – Charlie thought she was dead. If his daughter simply showed up looking as she did, he would have a heart attack and quite literally die of shock.

I pushed myself as fast as could, all the while knowing it wouldn't be enough and hating myself for it. If this ended badly, I would never forgive myself. I could only pray that Alice and Jasper would be able to cut her off and hold her long enough for me to catch up. We knew the area better than Bella, and Alice should've been able to seen her route, but it could all so easily go wrong.

My breathing was short and harsh, her scent consuming me as I ghosted through the forest, barely a whisper in the foliage.

"NO!" I heard her shout, followed by a thunderous crash as she hit the ground.

Instant relief flooded my system as I neared the edge of the forest where Alice and Jasper had Bella on the ground. Jasper secured her legs and Alice her arms, trying to speak reassurances in her ear. But Bella was writhing on the floor, screaming at them to release her.

"No! You have to let me go! You can't keep me from my dad! I have to see him!" She continued to thrash around, dry sobbing, but my siblings held on with all their strength, tight-faced and tense.

"Bella…" I couldn't hide the pain in my voice and three pairs of eyes whipped around to meet mine, two full of pity and worry, and one furious. All were laced with fear.

"Edward!" She was furious, her voice cold. "How dare you. How dare you keep this from me. I trusted you. What else have you kept from me? What else have I already forgotten about my life? I _trusted_ you!" She hissed, every inch of her hostile.

I didn't know what to say. For once in my very long life, I had no words. Everything she said was true. I felt sick, disgusted at myself. As I stared into her eyes trying to find the right thing to say, I saw the shadows of betrayal she was so desperately hiding.

"How could you?" she whispered, deathly still now, her temper dying.

I was drowning, casting my thoughts desperately for a lifeline, but finding none.

Jasper tried to sooth my nerves, but I still couldn't think straight. Bella was right. She'd trusted me implicitly, much more than I'd ever deserved and I'd let this happen. I'd known Charlie was worried sick, but I'd said nothing. I hadn't wanted to overwhelm her. I wanted to protect her. I'd failed miserably.

Alice saw that I couldn't speak and seized the chance to speak while Bella was sill quiet.

"Bella, please listen to me," she began, her voice quiet and steady. "It would do more harm than good for Charlie to see you now." Bella's eyes flashed to hers and I turned away, unable to face my shame anymore. "You disappeared Tuesday evening. It is now Saturday morning. You disappeared without a trace. Charlie's seen enough that he knows most disappearance cases are never solved, despite what the TV shows say. And if you just showed up out of the blue, as different as you are now, you could quite easily give him a heart attack."

Bella was quiet for a moment, seeing the truth to Alice's words. When she spoke, her voice was still and broken. "Can you let go of me? I promise I won't run."

Alice paused only a moment before relaxing her grip and Jasper followed suit. Bella sat up and pulled her knees up to her chest, resting her forehead on them and taking a deep, steadying breath. She looked at Alice again and asked in a small voice, "I won't ever be able to see him again?"

"Most likely not." She didn't try to hide the sadness in her voice.

Another dry sob ripped itself from Bella's throat, but that was all.

She smoothed her features and stood deftly. The others followed, standing cautiously.

"I think…I'd like to be alone now," she said softly.

"Of course," Alice placed a hand on her shoulder. "We'll go back to the house. The others are in the clearing now and we can go join them."

Bella nodded, affording one thankful glance at the tiny girl beside her. I didn't miss how she carefully avoided looking at me as we trekked back to the house.

My siblings' thoughts were only of concern, but they didn't say anything to me on the way back, vocally or otherwise.

Once through the threshold, Alice showed Bella to an extra room upstairs. It wasn't as well furnished as the rest of the house, since we didn't use it often, but it was hers if she wanted it.

Alice came back downstairs and with a sympathetic glance, and took my clenched hands in hers. "Just give her time, Edward. She's been through a lot these past few days.

That was the understatement of the year.

_'I won't force you to come with us,'_ she thought, knowing Bella could hear our every word. _'But you've got to give her time and space.'_

I nodded, grateful she wasn't going to drag me along. Baseball was the last thing on my mind right now. "Thank you," I said sincerely.

She dropped my hands and lead Jasper away, his parting thoughts wishing me luck.

I paced restlessly, determined to find some way to fix this somehow. Before long, I head the resounding crashes mingled with genuine thunder as my family played. Normally I might have been annoyed that they were playing while I was suffering, but I knew they were worried, and all were aware there was nothing they could do about it now. Playing baseball was their way of coping and letting out nervous energy. We had to seize these opportunities when they came.

Hours passed and I'd heard no sound from Bella's room, and I'd found no answers. I needed to talk to her, to see her, but that was impossible until I could conceive some possible solution.

I continued to pace, idly picking out book titles from the shelves that line the walls. One caught my eye and I laughed bitterly at the irony – _Angels and Demons_. That's what I was faced with now, an angel trapped as a demon. Looking at her, no one would ever believe the things she was capable of. Not even Charlie would think her a creature of the night.

I froze in mid-thought, catching myself. Charlie…

I rushed up to Bella's room, alive with the inspiration that had just struck me. I knocked gently on the door, trying to contain my excitement.

She opened it agonizingly slowly and peered up at me suspiciously without saying a word.

I started explaining before she could send me away. "Bella, please, I know you must hate me right now and you have every right to do so, but I think I know a way for you to see your father again."

Her eyes widened and she opened the door far enough for her to slip through into the hallway, closing the door behind her. I hadn't expected her to invite me in with a smile, but the rejection still stung. We stood awkwardly in the hallway.

"Tell me," she commanded, speaking for the first time since this morning.

"Is Charlie superstitious? Does he believe in angels, I mean?"

Her brow furrowed in thought as she answered. "I suppose so. He's not religious by any means, but he'd believe it if he had reason to."

"Good. Now, I need you to listen closely. This is risky at best, but you deserve the chance to say goodbye. And he does, too."

Her face softened just slightly and she nodded.

"And if I get any suspicion that you might loose control, all bets are off." Her face hardened again, but it would destroy me if I let her hurt him.

"I won't loose control," she said flatly.

"I'm not saying you will. I just want this to be clear as possible. Here's what we can do. We'll wait until Charlie falls asleep and then you can wake him up, pretending it's all a dream ad you're an angel, saying goodbye. Tell him whatever story you'd like, or none at all. You'll have your closure and then we'll leave. Do you think that will work?"

She thought it over quickly. "We?"

I nodded seriously. "I'll be with you the whole time. I'll hide, but I'll be close by if you need anything. It's too dangerous for you to go alone. I know you'd rather it was anyone but me, but the others are still away."

"Let's go," she decided, not denying my claim, but not acknowledging it either. I couldn't think about that right now. "Now. Right away."

"Do you want to change or anything?"

She looked down at her jeans and blouse, clean of the debris from the morning's struggles, grinning wryly. "If I were in heaven, this is how I'd be dressed."

That pulled a tense laugh from me; it was true. As lovely as she would have looked in a flowing white dress, jeans were more natural, more _Bella._

The sun was still setting, but we left anyway. It would be beneficial for Bella to get used to scent before talking to her father. The run was silent and I didn't dare break it.

The house came into view before she spoke again. "I can smell him," she said, anxious.

"Are you still in control of yourself?"

"Yes." I detected a hint of relief, despite her earlier show of confidence. "He just smells like my dad. More intense, more complicated, but Dad."

That was one burden off my shoulders; I didn't even care _why_ it didn't bother her at this point, I was just sick with relief that it didn't.

"Then we just need to wait for him to fall asleep. It shouldn't be long."

I fished for his thoughts, and my heart broke when I caught them. It wouldn't be long before he passed out indeed. He'd been living at the police station all week, barely eating or sleeping, hunting for his daughter or any trace of her. His fellow officers finally forced him home, urging him to get some sleep before he became completely useless. Even still, he'd taken his notes home and was pouring over them on the couch.

We came around the house and spied through the window. Bella gasped when she saw him. There were dark circles under his eyes and fast food bags littering the floor. He hadn't shaved and he looked utterly hopeless.

Minutes after he sat, the notes slipped from his fingers and his head slumped forward in slumber. Bella made no move to go to him.

"You can wake him whenever you like," I prodded.

"I don't think I can," she whispered. "He looks so tired."

"Wake him, talk to him, and his sleep will be much better, I promise. I'll be out of sight, but nearby. Call me and I'll be here."

She nodded and took a deep breath.

I watched as she took that first daunting step towards the doorway. She unlocked the front door with a spare key, reaching for it automatically. She smiled slightly at the small metal key, pleased that she remembered it. Replacing the key in its hiding spot, she nudged the door open and walked in, not making any sound.

She glanced at me out the window and I nodded in encouragement before turning away. I wanted her to be as alone with her father as possible. I didn't want her to feel any pressure from me; she needed to do this on her own.

I instead went up to her room, sneaking in through the window I'd slipped through so many times in the past week. It had only been a week and a half since I'd first come here. It seemed so long ago.

To think I'd been worried about Mike Newton and those other boys asking her to the dance. It seemed so trivial, so ridiculous now.

Surely Bella hated me after what I'd done to her. Not just this morning, when she'd remember her father, but everything. For damning her like this, trapping her, trying to be something I wasn't – something with a soul.

I sank into the rocking chair as I had so many times before, staring at the bed. It stared back, innocently, unaware of how offensive it had become; it was a reminder of how Bella would never sleep again, never wrap herself up in warm blankets to escape the cold, never dream, never let her thoughts spill in the world while she slept.

I couldn't stay in the room any longer. Everywhere I looked, some possession stared back at me accusingly, reminding me of the life I had stolen.

Bella was still with her father downstairs, talking in hushed tones. I couldn't leave her, even if she hated me. I hid outside, away from the censure of her belongings.

It was clear I didn't belong in her world. I wouldn't burden her with the knowledge of my feelings when it was so clear they weren't returned.

Even if it felt like I would suffocate under the weight of them.


	6. Goodbye

_AN: Sorry it took me so long to reply this time! This past week was surprisingly busy. And I hiked a mountain. :) Either way, thank you all SO much for your reviews, they seriously motivate me to keep writing._

_This chapter took a lot of tweaking; I hope it turned out alright. I hope you all have a great week and enjoy the Twilight goodies that are coming out! I'm going to the midnight premiere of Dark Knight, and I'm just as excited to see the new tailer as the movie. :D And Breaking Dawn is coming closer and closer!_

_Anyway, please review and let me know what you think!_

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_Bella POV_

I stepped forward, not really knowing what I was going to say. I only knew I had to talk to him before he worked himself to death.

I shook his shoulder gently, mindful of how much stronger I was now. "Dad," I whispered, "Dad, open your eyes."

"Bella?" he mumbled, laboring to wake up, "Bella, is that you?"

"I'm here, Dad," I said, fighting to keep from voice from breaking. He sounded so happy…and I was going to take that away from him in one sweeping blow.

He was properly awake now, though still exhausted. He lurched to his feet, pulling me into the tightest hug I'd ever received from him. "Bella, where have you been? You scared me half to death. Do you have any idea how worried everyone's –" he broke off, finally pulling back to get a good look at me. I could only imagine what I must look like to him. The paler, icy skin, the bright red eyes… "Bella, what happened?" The concern in his voice was overwhelming. He'd never been an emotional man; I don't think I'd ever seen him show this much emotion.

I shook my head, wanting to cry, but no longer possessing a body capable of doing so. "I came to say goodbye, Dad," my voice shook. "I don't have much time, but I had to say goodbye. I need you to promise me you'll take care of yourself for me, since I can't anymore." He only stared, comprehension dawning.

"Promise me!" I said firmly when he didn't speak. "I'm going to fine, I'm going to be happy. I want the same for you and Mom. Please promise me." Oh why couldn't I cry? The one time in my life I actually want to cry and I can't. The pressure was building up inside me with no means of release. I felt raw, the pure emotion gnawing at my insides and threatening to rip me apart.

Charlie's eyes glistened as he nodded and pulled me to him again. "I promise, kid," he said gruffly. "If you'll promise me you'll be happy, I'll try."

"I swear," I said laughing through my sorrow. He was still my dad, looking out for his daughter. "I love you, Dad. I'm glad I came to live here, even if it was only for a little while. I have no regrets."

"I love you, too, Bells."

I breathed in the scent of him, committing it to memory, extremely grateful at how unappetizing it was. He smelled faintly of fish, and all the smells I associated with my home here.

"You look beautiful, Bells," he said, his voice still rough. "You've always been beautiful, but now it's like it's been magnified a hundred times over."

I laughed a little. "Thanks, Dad."

I didn't want to leave but he needed sleep desperately; his eyes were clearly fighting every second to stay open. I pulled back, and tugged him towards the stairs, leading him to his bed. "Now sleep, Dad." I pulled myself together as he sat on the bed. "Say goodbye, and sleep."

He was asleep as soon as his head hit the pillows and I watched him for a long moment. I didn't want to risk forgetting him again. I memorized every wrinkle in his face before kissing him on the cheek and leaving to find Edward.

I didn't make it far before breaking down.

I had glanced in my room and the memories just flooded my mind, overwhelming me. Gran's rocking chair, the old quilt, that stupid computer – I couldn't take it and fled from the house, only to find refuge in the back seat of my truck, burying myself in its comforting smell.

And it was there that Edward found me curled up in the back seat.

"Oh Bella," he murmured and I came undone as he climbed in beside me, easing me into his lap. I didn't care that I was supposed to be mad at him, I just needed to mourn for the life that I had lost.

The tears never came, of course, but I shook and dry-sobbed for an immeasurable amount of time. He was unendingly patient, simply holding me and brushing his hand though my hair soothingly. I didn't deserve his kindness, not after I had exploded at him earlier, but I craved it, needed it to hold myself together.

And I wasn't really mad at him; I was mad at myself for forgetting. Everything had happened so fast, he didn't really have the chance to tell me. I probably would have acted the same in his place. All I could do was blame my reaction on everything finally catching up with me.

Besides, I was eternally grateful for his plan to see Charlie one last time. As painful as it was now, I knew it was good for me. It terrified me now to think of what might have happened, had Edward not intervened, and a fresh wave of sorrow washed over me.

The moon was high before I fell silent, casting its gentle light over us, illuminating Edward's face. He stared off in to the woods, though his hands never stopped their calm ministrations. Even now, I was struck by how devastatingly beautiful he was. I couldn't imagine what was making his brow furrow in frustration like that. Was he regretting changing me? Would I have been better off dead?

No, I quickly pushed the thought from my head, ashamed it had ever wormed its way in there. I was glad he'd done it. As much as it had hurt, both physically and emotionally, my heart constricted painfully at the thought of any other outcome. My heart needed to be near him, no matter the cost.

But of course he wouldn't – couldn't – feel the same way. Surely I was a nuisance now. After I'd broken down in he woods, why would he want anything to do with me? He needed someone stronger than me, someone worthy of him.

I was suddenly very conscious of his body's proximity; I was in his lap, leaning against his chest, one of his arms around my waist, holding me to him, the other tracing up and down my spine. My body tensed instinctively as I realized that frustrated look must be because he was tired of waiting for me to calm down.

He glanced down at me, hand paused, but didn't speak. His endless patience refused to break the thick silence that engulfed us.

I took stock of myself. I wasn't done mourning, but I was done crying. I was ready to move forward.

He was still looking at me, an unreadable expression masking his features as I awkwardly removed myself from his lap.

"Thank you," I said softly, not meeting his eyes. "I think I'm ready to go back to your house now."

"Are you sure?" His tone was gentle, but guarded, as he withdrew from m.

I simply nodded and climbed out of the truck. He followed close behind and we jogged the short distance to his house in silence.

Edward paused before entering, a brief look of confusion flickering across his face. "We have visitors," he murmured.

My eyes widened in alarm, but he shook his head. "No, they mean no harm. They were simply curious." He regarded me carefully and the mask reappeared. "If you're not feeling up to entertaining, you can slip upstairs and I'll cover for you."

I must look a mess. I gratefully accepted his offer.

"Once we get inside then, just go straight up. I'll explain for you. Hopefully these guests won't be staying for very long."

I could hear the gentle flow of voices engaged in casual conversation once we opened the door, but I dashed upstairs to find refuge in my room. I could still hear them, thanks to my superior hearing, and stepped into the shower hoping to block the sound and rinse my sore muscles away. The water washed over my head and thundered in my ears, dulling the sounds of conversation below. I concentrated only on the feel of the water hitting my skin, tensing and relaxing each tender muscle until I felt calm again.

I switched off the water, dried off, and dressed, but did not join the others downstairs. They all kept their voices low, so as not to disturb me and I couldn't make out individual words without straining.

I could detect three foreign voices, two male and one female. Both male voices were smooth and pleasant one with a slight French accent. The female's was sugary-sweet, and while it sounded non-threatening, it grated on my nerves and put me on edge for some inexplicable reason. Thankfully, she didn't speak often.

I listened for some time, the gentle flow of voices lulling me into a half-asleep state, when a soft knock on my door startled me from my reverie.

It was Edward again, much to my surprise, with Carlisle this time; I could tell before I opened the door from their scents. Edward's was unbearably sweet in an intoxicating way, and Carlisle's was pleasant, mixed with those of a hospital. I opened the door, curious why the both of them would come to visit me, and now of all times.

"Bella," Carlisle greeted me kindly. "Edward was telling me about your extraordinary control tonight and I'd like to talk to you about it. May we come in?"

"Of course," I answered, surprised, but glad. I opened the door wider and let them in.

My room wasn't large and certainly wasn't meant for entertaining guests, but there was a chair, and the bed of course. I sat on the edge of the bed and Carlisle took the chair. Edward remained slightly aloof, standing near the door. Of course, he was only here because he felt obligated, or to hear Carlisle's thoughts on the matter.

My insides tightened as I realized how ridiculous I must seem to him. Apparently I couldn't even be a vampire the right way.

"Well, Bella," Carlisle began, "Edward's explained to you about how some traits are magnified after the change, correct?" I nodded, thinking back to the moment after we'd gone hunting for the first time. "I think we may be discovering your magnified trait."

"What do you mean?"

"It seems to me you have a very tight control over your mind. Edward couldn't get in to read you, for example, because you didn't want outside influences or presences inside. Also take into account your maturity for your age; from what I've heard and know from first hand experiences, you possess a maturity that only comes from allowing only certain things to influence you, such as family or others that you trust.

"I think this control carried over. Nothing – not even vampire instincts – can affect your mind unless you allow it."

I tried to consider this, but Edward interrupted, "But what about Jasper? He doesn't affect her mind, only her body."

Carlisle looked thoughtful. "When you were upset earlier, Bella, it was because you thought Charlie was in danger, am I right? That thought was what drove you, not your emotions."

It made sense. The panic that had seized me was a result of realizing just what had happened. My mind took off, spiraling in on itself and refusing to see reason.

"And of course," Carlisle continued, "You are still closed to Edward. Yours is a very private mind."

I glanced at Edward warily at these words, but he was as poker-faced as ever. "So what does all this mean?" I asked, facing Carlisle again.

"Nothing is certain, of course, but it appears that you will have complete control over your instincts and you will be shielded from any ability that could invade your mind. An impressive gift, to be sure.

"Now I'm sure I've given you more than enough to think about for one night," he said, standing in a fluid movement. "I'll be downstairs if you need anything more from me. And of course you're welcome to come down whenever you feel ready."

"Thank you, Carlisle," I said sincerely.

He passed Edward, but paused when his son didn't move to follow. I met Edward's eyes, trying to decipher what could possibly be going through his mind. He stared back, his usually golden eyes were still stained red and pierced through me. My lungs constricted painfully and I couldn't breathe. Why wasn't he saying anything? And why was he looking at me like that?

Carlisle must have thought something at him when he suddenly broke eye contact and strode out the room, Carlisle – after offering me an apologetic look – following.

I was alone in my room again, somewhat bewildered. I mulled over this new information, grateful for Carlisle's insight.

I was possibly more grateful that I was still a closed book to Edward. My situation was difficult as it was, I couldn't imagine how much more so it would be if he could hear how much I still cared for him when it was obvious those feelings were not returned.

Sitting alone wasn't going to help me any, I decided, resigned to my fate. I checked my appearance one last time in the mirror and went downstairs to make an appearance.

I hardly recognized myself. I could see the sadness in my eyes, but the rest of my face was surprisingly attractive. This new body was still taking time to get used to.

I sighed and switched the light off, preparing myself for whatever was waiting for me downstairs.


	7. Possesive

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_AN: Thank you all SO much for your reviews! I'm sorry I've gotten so bad at responding, but I figured you'd rather have the next chapter, right? And I've finally found a beta, firstillusion! She's been a great help with the plot, and hopefully those annoying typos will be taken care of.  
_

_Also, for the curious, Dark Knight was fabulous and I've already seen it twice. Though the Twilight trailer was no where to be seen for either of them, annoyingly.  
_

_Same Disclaimer applies. I'm just playing around here. :)_

_Don't forget to review!_

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**Chapter 7**

**Possessive**

_Edward POV_

I watched her dash up the stairs, well aware of my family's curious expressions and thoughts. They were all convened in the living room, entertaining our guests, but a hush fell over them as they waited for some sort of explanation.

"Everything's fine," I reassured them, "she just is feeling a little overwhelmed.

They relaxed slightly, though our guests look confused. I didn't pay them any thought and went to my own room to mull over what had happened.

"We have a very recent addition to our family," Esme explained as I left, "We're still tying up loose ends."

_Loose ends_, I scoffed, but didn't comment. Safely in my room, I heard Bella turn on the shower and undress. I tried not to picture it and instead ended up remember how she felt curled up in my lap.

It had felt so _right_, surely, she had felt something, too? She didn't seem to mind at the time, but she had seemed so…disconnected. Distracted. And as soon as she realized where she was, she'd pushed me away.

I sighed. Time, Alice had said. I had an endless supply of time. And Bella was worth waiting for.

I couldn't keep pacing around my room, running through the same thoughts over and over. I reluctantly left and went back downstairs to find Carlisle and report on what we had done. Surely Alice had explained as best as she could with those visitors present, but I wanted to talk with Carlisle.

He was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs, knowing all too well that I would come to him. I indicated that I wanted to talk privately and we went into his office. It was far enough from the others that we would have some semblance of a private conversation.

_'So, Edward, I assume you have much to tell me,' _he thought, sitting behind his desk.

"How much did Alice tell you?" I asked first, unable to sit still, instead continued my pacing from before.

The memory of her informing my family of my plan flashed through his mind. _'Everything went according to plan?'_

"Yes, and that's part of what I wanted to talk to you about. Bella, she didn't seem to struggle with the bloodlust at all." This frustrated me. "I remember how out of control I was, Carlisle. How could she have kept herself in check like that?"

Several theories began formulating in his mind, but he spoke before completing any of them. "I'd like to talk with Bella about this, too. You don't mind?"

I hesitated, unsure of what her reaction would be to me. But it was for the best for her to be informed of what we thought was going on, wasn't it? "Of course not."

He led the way and I followed cautiously. Bella answered her door, and with a gentle greeting, let us in. I didn't dare come too close and hovered near the door, listening to Carlisle's explanation and watching Bella's reaction.

She took it all calmly, of course. Had our places been switched, I doubted I would have been as composed as she. I distinctly remembered my own transformation, and the discovery of my "magnified trait." I had thought I'd gone crazy.

But Bella was different, as I'd known all along. I interrupted Carlisle only once for clarification and his reasoning made perfect sense. She had the potential to live an almost normal human life, without having to fight the vampire instincts that plagued the rest of us.

Would she choose to leave us, then? She couldn't go back to her old life, but she had the opportunity to start a new one without having to wait for her control to strengthen or take the many necessary precautions like the rest of us.

I didn't want her to leave us. I didn't want her to leave me. How could I give her time if she wasn't here? I was beginning to panic that she would realize just how much of a gift her talent truly was and strike out on her own.

I was careful to keep my expression neutral, so as not to alarm her.

"Now I'm sure I've given you more than enough to think about for one night," Carlisle's words interrupted my thoughts as he stood. "I'll be downstairs if you need anything more from me. And of course you're welcome to come down whenever you feel ready."

I could only stare at the girl in front of me, wishing desperately that I could hear her thoughts as she thanked him.

_'Edward,'_ Carlisle thought gently, _'It's time for us to go. Now is not the time.'_

He knew me too well. I left quickly without a backwards glance, preparing to escape to my room once more to try to figure out a way to keep her here without scaring her.

_'I think you should join us,'_ Carlisle insisted, correctly reading my intentions. _'It won't do you any good to retreat to your room. You need a distraction. And Esme is worried about you.'_

I groaned internally. Knowing he was right, I trudged downstairs with him and joined the congregation in the living room.

"This is my other son, Edward," he introduced me as we entered. There was no more sitting room left as Carlisle reclaimed his seat next to his wife, so I happily leaned against the far wall, glad to be out of the circle.

Esme shot me a worried glance, her thoughts worried about my reaction and Bella's current state, but did not say anything as everyone turned their attention back to Emmett. He was emphatically retelling a story about a bear hunt he'd been on recently.

I studied the addition to our group; these wanderers were not "vegetarians" like us and their eyes shone a bright scarlet. They'd eyed me curiously as I'd walked in and I remembered with a wince that my eyes were as red as theirs.

Emmett's animated story-telling came to an end and one of the unfamiliar men spoke up. James was his name, I'd gathered from the thoughts around me. "Pardon my rudeness, but do you not abstain from human blood either?"

The question was clearly directed at me. "I was the one to change the newborn," I answered curtly.

"What prompted such a change?" he pressed. There was no malice in his voice, simply curiosity, but I was not in the mood for a game of twenty questions with strangers who had no right to intrude upon my life.

"She was his singer," Carlisle supplied, cutting off my chance for a smart reply about exactly what I thought about his "rudeness." 'They're only going to keep asking, Edward. It's easier to just tell them.'

But his answer got quite the reaction. "His singer?" The second man repeated, speaking for the first time while I was in the room, incredulous. "And you merely changed her? You didn't drink every drop?"

His companions mentally agreed with him.

_'James makes a point; why would he would stop if he'd already started? Such a waste,'_ the other man thought.

The woman, Victoria, simply imagined the taste of a singer's blood – she'd never experienced it before.

My lip pulled up in a snarl, "She was worth more to me like this than dead. The taste of her blood couldn't compare to the light in her eyes."

Realization flicked through his mate's eyes, but James remained questioning, his voice pleasant and even. "Laurent," he indicated to the other man, "has met a singer of his own. From his description, I can't imagine anything that would inspire you to resist. I would like to meet her."

A growl started low in my throat, but at that moment, the topic of discussion came down the stairs and all attention was turned to her.

She stood hesitantly on the bottom step and I nervously wondered how much of our conversation she had just heard. Did it count for trying to give her space if she overheard me telling others what she meant to me?

I anxiously waited for her reaction, but she acted as though she'd heard nothing out of the ordinary. I didn't know whether to be happy that I didn't upset her, or sad that it didn't seem to affect her at all. Perhaps she simply hadn't heard? No, that was ridiculous, her hearing was superb, if she was listening at all, she would have heard.

"Bella," Carlisle called to her, reaching an arm out inviting her into the circle. She stepped forward hesitantly, shyly, jumping slightly at the sound of his voice calling her name as if she hadn't been paying attention.

James stood to greet her, a friendly grin on his lips that I didn't trust. His thoughts weren't helping his cause any, either.

_'She is a pretty little thing. I wouldn't object to getting to know her a little more. Any creature that creates such a reaction as the one the boy displayed deserves proper attention.'_

Victoria, too, was getting on my nerves. '_I don't see what's so interesting about her. Why should James waste our time? He has me, he shouldn't be looking at anyone else.' _

My eyes narrowed, watching James's every move, daring him to give me a reason to shove him away.

My reason came sooner than I'd hoped. He reached for her hand, to shake it in greeting, but as he grasped her hand, she flinched, turning away ever so slightly.

I couldn't stop myself; instinctively I flung myself across the room to place myself between her and the perceived threat.

I never would have imagined that I would become the threat.

But as I reached her, possessively wrapping an arm around her waist to maneuver her behind me, she gasped, and wretched herself from my grasp, eyes wide in terror.

I spun around to face her, confused at the sight. She looked absolutely terrified. I tried to reach out to her again, to offer some sense of comfort, like I had in the truck, but she only flinched back again.

Everyone was suddenly very still. I froze, afraid to move – what had I done? Was she afraid of me? Had she had enough time to think by herself to discover the monster that I truly was? But then why had she only flinched at James's touch in discomfort, and positively cowered at my mine?

She clenched her eyes shut and covered her face with trembling hands. I felt utterly helpless. I didn't dare breathe.

She shook her head roughly, as if denying some thought, and ran from the room and out the back door, crying apologies as she left.

I stared after her in shock, not comprehending. Not knowing if I should go after her or if that would make matter worse.

James's thoughts were the first to break through my stupor. _'Well, that was unexpected.'_

I turned on him, my confusion and disbelief transforming into fury. "What did you do to her?" I growled, getting right in his face.

He looked at me in surprise, not backing up or giving in. "I didn't do a thing. I only touched her hand," he said defensively.

I glanced at the rest of my family, looking for support. They looked as shocked as I felt.

I turned back to James, my eyes blazing. "She was doing fine before you approached her. What did you do to her?"

"This might have escaped your notice," he said coolly, "but you were the one who scared her so bad she felt the need to flee."

Emmett jumped up to restrain me before I could attack, though every inch of me was fighting to tear this insufferable thing limb from limb. I fought against Emmett's iron hold, all the while knowing James's words were true, making the sting of them all the more powerful.

Suddenly, Rosalie cursed and she glared at me. "You really are an idiot sometimes," she hissed before jumping up and running out the door. "And don't you dare follow me!" she called over her shoulder.

Her parting thought hit me with a crushing blow. _'She was raped, you fool, you can't grab someone like that and expect everything to be okay!'_

All the anger left my body in an instant, leaving me completely weak and exhausted. How could I have been so stupid as to forget something like that? Guilt wormed its way inside me, twisting and knotting, painfully reminding me of the horrors that she had been through.

Emmett could feel the tension slacken and relaxed his grip. Jasper was by my side now, too. "What just happened?" Jasper asked quietly. _'You're all over the map.'_

"The memories from just before she was…bitten…must have come back." I said, my voice cold and detached. "She had remembered vaguely what happened before, but the touch must have triggered something stronger."

My family knew the circumstances surrounding Bella's transformation, but these strangers did not, and they were insatiably curious. James especially, already intrigued by her origins, was all the more determined to learn her whole story. I did not like where his mind was going, but I had bigger problems to focus on right now.

"Edward," Alice warned me, "Don't go after her now. She's scared and you'd only scare her more at this point. Let Rosalie talk to her, she knows what to do."

I glared at her, but was forced to see the truth in her words. "What do I do, then?" I growled.

'_Just wait. That's all you can do now. Remember, time and space.'_

I turned on my heel, running back to my room to anxiously wait for Bella's return.


	8. Rosalie

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_AN - Thank you all again SO much for your wonderful reviews. Here's one more chapter before Breaking Dawn hits, and then I'll be on a little hiatus while my beta's on vacation and everyone obsesses over BD. :) Hopefully once th fuss dies down, you'll still want to read fic.  
_

_I'm going to a midnight release party tonight, hope you all enjoy the book, but PLEASE be considerate and keep spoilers out of your reviews. I haven't read any spoilers yet and I don't want anyone else to accidentally read them either._

_Many thanks to firstillusion for cleaning this up and keeping everyone in character!_

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**Chapter 8**

**Rosalie**

_Bella POV_

"She was worth more to me like this than dead. The taste of her blood couldn't compare to the light in her eyes."

I froze mid step on the stairs. That was Edward's voice, but those couldn't have been his words. I must have misheard him. My poor brain was hallucinating, telling me things I wanted to hear in order to cope. I'd have to put a stop to that. Too bad I didn't know how.

The conversation turned to something about singers, and I didn't understand the connection. What did music have to do with anything? My brain was really starting to fry. Perhaps some normal conversation would give it the break it needed and it could begin functioning normally – as normal as I got, at any rate – again.

I chose that time to make my entrance, and everyone turned to look at me. It made me self-conscious. I never did like people staring at me, and since I'd come to Forks, it seemed like that was all people did.

"Bella," Carlisle called to me, and I jumped, started by the sound. My name sounded strange to me, like it didn't quite fit me anymore. 'Bella' was the clumsy human with plain features. Or was that Isabella, masquerading as Bella, the strange and beautiful thing I'd become?

I shook my head. This was all nonsense. I was the same as before. Perhaps the shock was just hitting me late.

One of the strangers stood to greet me, introducing himself as James and reached for my hand. The woman that was sitting beside him seemed irritated, and remained seated.

Edward, on the other hand, looked beyond irritated. I watched him out of the corner of my eye, trying to understand what had upset him so badly. Was it me? Again?

My mind was brought back to the present when James seized my hand. There was something about the way he touched me that sent up warning signals in the back of my mind and I instinctively flinched away. I couldn't quite grasp what it was…

Suddenly Edward was beside me, _right there_, his arm wrapping around my waist, pulling me close and the memory slammed me back to the past.

A dark alleyway… strange men, beating me… _hurting_ me… tossing me around like a rag doll, like I was nothing more than a plaything. Helplessness. Fear. A feral growl in the dark. Sharp cracks ringing out. Silence.

Pain beyond pain. Fire consuming me.

I tore myself apart, gasping in fear, eyes wide as I tried to take in my surroundings. Groping blindly in my mind for a hold on something – _anything. _

I was back in the Cullens' living room. Everyone was staring at me, again, faces ranging from shock to concern to confusion. I searched for Edward's eyes, hoping he could offer some comfort, but he was staring at me, looking just as scared as I felt.

Then time stopped. It was _him_ I pulled away from. It was undeniable and irrevocable.

Emotions rushed me, I couldn't think straight. I wanted him, but his touch scared me. And he didn't want me. And I didn't know what was happening to me. And everyone was still _staring at me!_

I couldn't take any more. I had to get out.

I didn't know where I was going, I just knew I had to run. So I ran, blindly, into the forest, my body burning with shame at my reaction.

The ground was soft beneath my feet, patches of mud appearing as rain continued to pour from the sky. It must have started some time earlier. The rain didn't slow me, I just blinked it away. I was running so fast the droplets should have cut into me, but my marble skin assured protection from their sting.

My breathing came rapid and shallow as I tried to escape the panic that was trying to seize my body. I finally stopped running – without a clue where I was – and tried to control my breathing.

Inhale, exhale. Forget everything that just happened. I hunched over, my hands on my knees. Inhale, exhale. Inhale –

"Bella?"

I tensed on reflex, my breathing forgotten at the sound of my name, muscles braced for impact. I couldn't face _him_ right now.

"Bella!" the voice called again, and I relaxed marginally as I realized it wasn't him. It wasn't even male.

To my intense surprise, it was Rosalie who appeared through the sheeting rain. I blinked rapidly, unable to see clearly or fathom why she would be here.

She approached me hesitantly, as if I were a cornered, frightened animal, afraid that I might take off again. I was half-tempted to do just that, but my curiosity got the better of me.

"What are you doing here?" I demanded.

Her face was surprisingly calm, free of any resentment I thought she held for me. She, unlike the rest of the Cullens, rarely spoke a word to me, often leaving the room whenever I entered, a look of annoyed contemplation on her face.

She took a deep breath. "I'm not going to ask if you're okay. Any idiot could see that you're not."

Baffled, I said the only thing that came to mind. "What?"

She shifted her weight uncomfortably. "I'm not very good at this. But I know what you're going through. And I want to help."

I only stared at her. How could she possibly know what I was going through? She was _Rosalie_, beautiful and without a care in the world.

A small, sad smile appeared at her lips. "You don't really know much about me, do you, Bella?" It wasn't really a question. "Would you like to hear why I understand why you're so torn up inside and confused right now?"

I nodded, dumbly. Silence stretched between us for a long moment as she collected her thoughts, the sound of raindrops bleeding into nothingness as it faded to a light mist.

"When I was human, I had nearly everything I could ever dream of," Rosalie began. "I was beautiful, and I was loved by everyone who saw me. I was my parents' favorite and the talk of the town.

"It came time for me to be married. My best friend Vera had been married with a child of her own, and I wanted nothing more than to have a baby. My own perfect baby with blonde curls, with my perfect husband.

"I was engaged to a man named Royce King." Her lips twisted around the name and a sense of foreboding crept over me. "He was my prince charming. Rich, handsome, respected. He was my perfect match."

She took a breath and looked me straight in the eyes. "But I was a fool and he was a fraud. What happened to you that night in Port Angeles happened to me not ten miles from my own home. Only it wasn't strangers that ravished me, it was my fiancé. A man I had trusted. A man I thought I had loved."

I inhaled sharply. I _never_ would have guessed. "Rosalie…" I murmured, but she pressed on.

"He left me for dead, and Carlisle found me. He brought me home and changed me. When I found out what I was, I still shallow enough to love how beautiful I had become. But I was also furious at what had happened, at how my perfect world was ripped from my grasp."

Her eyes gleamed dangerously. "My record is clean in the regards that I've never tasted human blood. But I have murders to my name and blood on my hands. I killed him. Him and the disgusting creatures that helped him."

She sighed. "But Bella," her voice was calm again, the sound of my name gentle. "The damage had been done. I won't lie, revenge felt good at the time. But it was like putting a band-aid on a wound that needed stitches. It was fleeting.

"I was beyond lucky enough to find exactly what I needed only two years later when I found Emmett. He was perfect for me in every way. But during those two years, I…suffered."

Her gaze turned out to the blackness of the forest. "I was very angry. I didn't understand, and so I was angry. I was angry at Carlisle, at Edward, but most of all at myself. I should have known better, or done things differently. I clung to the memory of what happened, analyzing every detail, as if that would help. That's why I can still remember it all so clearly now.

"But you're different from me, I can already tell. You're not angry at anyone but yourself." She looked back at me and stepped closer so that she was no more than a foot away. "You're angry at yourself for a natural reaction when you pulled away from Edward today."

I couldn't help but flinch again.

"No, Bella, it's _natural_," She insisted, "You've been though a traumatic event, you've been _hurt_. It's not just going to go away."

"So what am I supposed to do?" I didn't try to hide the desperation in my voice.

"You need to give yourself time to heal. And as difficult as this may sound, you need to not blame yourself. What's happened has happened, there's no changing it now. If you need to blame anyone, blame the men that did it to you. "

I tried to focus on the here and now, but kept flashing back to how badly I had reacted when Edward put his arm around me.

"But what about… when Edward touches me?" I asked in small voice.

"It wasn't just Edward's touch, correct?"

I thought back, remembering the discomfort James had caused, and shook my head.

"Contact, especially male contact is going to be difficult for awhile, maybe a long time, until your body can relearn that it's okay. The others know what happened. They won't force anything on you, so you'll need to let them know when it's okay."

"How do I do that?"

"Talk to them. Talk to Edward. He's worried about you; everyone is."

I looked down at my feet; my shoes were soaked. Edward wasn't worried about me any more than the rest of her family, surely. Any added worry had to be guilt for scaring me or something related.

"Do you think you're ready to go back to the house now? We're a little wet, and while we won't get sick, a nice hot shower would feel wonderful right about now." She smiled.

While a hot shower did sound good, facing everyone again did not. Rosalie must have read my body language. "You're going to have to face them again sooner or later, Bella. Putting it off is only going to make it worse."

I hated it, but she was right. I would only build it up in my mind, making things appear worse than they already were.

"Rosalie?" I looked up at her hesitantly and she waited patiently for me to continue. "Thank you. I can't tell you how much you talking to me helped. So… thank you."

She smiled wryly at my awkward thanks, "I know I wasn't exactly welcoming to you, and I am sorry for that. But you, well, to be honest, you scared me a little."

"I scared you?"

"You inadvertently threatened my family's secrecy. You were something new, and I didn't want things to change. I don't like change, and I love my family fiercely. I thought that maybe you would go away, but now, Bella, you're a part of our family. I don't blame you for anything that's happened, never doubt that." She put a hand on my shoulder, and I didn't flinch. She repeated, "You're a part of my family."

"Thank you, Rosalie." I couldn't think of any other reply. I had never expected this sort of response from her.

"Now let's go home."

_Home_.


	9. Another Visitor

_AN: I am so sorry for the delay! I didn't mean to take so long, but it took awhile to recover from the madness of Breaking Dawn. As it is, this chapter isn't beta-ed yet (I'll edit it when my beta gets back to me), but I'm going out of town for the weekend for my cousin's wedding, and didn't want to make you guys wait any longer. So please be patient with my mistakes. The next update shouldn't take so long, but I am starting classes in a week. Ugh. But I do have the rest of the story outlined nicely, and we're looking at maybe 20 chapters. So almost halfway done!_

_So thank you all again, you're amazing. Enjoy and please review!_

_Disclaimer: Characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer, no copyright infringement intended._

* * *

**Chapter 9**

_Edward POV_

I was still pacing anxiously in my room when I heard her return. James quickly and smoothly apologized for his behavior, and Bella quickly and quietly forgave him.

"You couldn't have known," her soft voice pricked my ears. Would she be so forgiving to me?

"All the same, I wish there was something I could do to make it up to you." His voice was car salesman slick and I didn't trust it, but his thoughts did nothing to betray him.

"Really, it's alright," she insisted, sounding weary of the subject.

Just as I was about to rush to her side to shield her from him – in a more gentle fashion – a stench suddenly assaulted my senses and a conscience prodded my attention.

Wolf.

If it wasn't one thing it was another, wasn't it?

I was down the stairs in a flash, my attention on Carlisle and carefully not looking at Bella. I didn't want to push her away and I didn't know how to keep her close without hurting her. So I shoved that problem aside for later consideration.

"I smell it, too," Carlisle said warily. "Who is it?"

"I don't know his name. Someone from La Push."

"There's only the one," he murmured. "It must be Sam."

My family tensed, and out of the corned of my eye, I watched Bella as her eyes widened in recognition and alarm. The nomads looked angry; no doubt they recognized the scent.

"What's going on?" Victoria demanded in her high voice. The others looked just as curious, though remained slightly more polite about it.

"There's a reservation nearby, and a member of the tribe carries the werewolf gene. We had a treaty with the tribal elders to coexist peacefully, but," Carlisle hesitated, "recent events have nullified that treaty. It appears that Sam has discovered that breach."

Bella froze, instantly understanding Carlisle was referring to her change. I wanted to go to her, comfort her somehow. But I didn't know how. So I stayed frozen in my position at the bottom of the stairs.

"You had a treaty with those monsters?" Victoria demanded. She clearly had experience. Images of her and James fighting a great beast of a wolf in swirling snow and ice flitted across her memory. James, too, was remembering the same event, though his thoughts were a bit more…painful somehow.

"They aren't quite the same as any werewolves you may have encounters," Carlisle explained patiently, but quickly – Sam was fast approaching. "They are not ruled by the moon, and are quite capable of seeing reason."

_Damn bloodsuckers. I knew they couldn't be trusted. Let's see if they're as tough as legend makes them out to be. _

"We're about to see how 'reasonable' they can be," I muttered darkly, frustration worsening my mood. "The wolf's in the yard. He won't come in. And he's not happy."

"I'll try to talk to him, explain the circumstances," Carlisle sighed.

"You're not going out there alone!" Emmett protested, jumping up from the couch, eager for a fight. "I'm going with you."

Rosalie hissed angrily. The rest of my family had similar reactions, unwilling to put anyone in danger. Jasper struggled to keep his anger in check, concentrating his strength on keeping everyone else calm. Bella remained stock still.

"Emmett, there are seven of us. Eight with Bella, and eleven with our guests, should they join us." Carlisle nodded to them. "Sam is intelligent. He's not going to attack with the odds so high against him."

The one called Laurent spoke up, reluctant. "I hate to leave you at such an inopportune moment, but I would rather not involve myself in such affairs. I mean no offense, but I must go. Your life intrigues me, though, are there others like yourself?"

"North, in Denali, Alaska, there is a family similar to ours," Esme answered. "They would be glad to meet you."

"And we take no offense," Carlisle added, "Please continue on your way in peace." He looked to the other two. "You are also welcome to leave at any time."

Victoria looked like she'd rather the wolf was dead before she stepped foot outside this house, her murderous thoughts echoing that sentiment, but James was curious. "I'd rather see how this turns out," he said pleasantly. "In thanks for your hospitality, I offer my assistance." He face was smooth and composed, but his thoughts spun rapidly, playing old memories and wishing for another shot at a wolf.

But Carlisle was firm in his decision. "I will go out alone. If we all go, we will overwhelm him, making it all the less likely that he will cooperate." He glanced at Laurent, who was standing anxiously by the back door. "His anger is with us, if you leave now, I do not think he would give chase."

"I wish you well, then. I'm sure our paths will cross again." And with that parting remark, he slipped out the door and disappeared into the forest without a backwards glance.

My family grumbled their acceptance at Carlisle's decision to face the dog alone, but Bella spoke up for the first time. "Should I come with you? It is about me, after all." She sounded so small, so frail. I didn't look at her.

Carlisle thought it over quickly and I hissed at the idea of Bella out there with that mongrel. Carlisle heard me, of course, '_Edward, it makes sense. She may help to persuade him that we speak the truth.'_

I frowned, letting him know in no uncertain terms that I did not like it.

"That might be wise," he said aloud. "But stay back. And Edward, you'll need to come, too. I doubt he will want to be in his human form and I'll need you to translate."

I saw Bella flinch, but still couldn't bring myself to face her.

_I know you know I'm out here! Come and face me!_

"He's getting impatient," I informed Carlisle.

He set his mouth in a firm line and led the way to the front door. I felt Bella at my side but still couldn't bear to see the heartache on her face and continued to stare straight ahead. If only I could just hear what she was thinking! I felt crippled, not knowing how to act or what to say.

Carlisle opened the door with one confident motion and stepped outside to face the wolf pacing across our front lawn.

_Finally._

"Sam," Carlisle began in a smooth voice, his hands raised in the universal signal for peace. "We know why you've come. But please let us explain ourselves."

_There can be no explanation. _He sneered, watching me with dark eyes. Bella was half hidden behind my body and my father's. Sam hadn't noticed her yet. _You killed an innocent girl. _

I relayed his message and felt Bella flinch again at my emotionless translation. I fought to keep my own feelings out of Sam's words. It was… difficult. He spoke the truth. I deserved whatever punishment he demanded of me. For taking Bella's life, I deserved to pay with my own.

"Sam, she would have died. She was attacked in Port Angeles. There was nothing we could have done otherwise. Would you have rather we left her alone to die in an abandoned alleyway?" His voice was still calm and collected.

_Yes! Anything would have been better than what she is now!_

I gritted my teeth and relayed the message again. It took all my control to not attack him right there.

I heard Bella inhale sharply and suddenly step forward confidently. Sam visibly recoiled at the sight of her, but she spoke before he could do anything.

"Sam, isn't it? Sam, please listen to me," she pleaded. "I'm glad I'm not dead. I suppose you don't really see this," she gestured at her new body, "as any different from death, but it is. It is _so_ much better. I was able to say goodbye to my father. I'm still here, still me. I would take this over a traditional death a thousand times over."

A low growl rumbled in Sam's throat, distracting me from her answer. His muscled bunched as if preparing to spring. I fell back in a defensive position, ready to strike if he so much as breathed incorrectly.

_Lies_, he thought, his eyes rapidly flickering between hers, mine, and Carlisle's.

_She is like them. She is an abomination. She must be destroyed._

He lunged forward without a sound, and I sprang at him with a roar of fury, our bodies colliding with a resounding crash.

A distant part of my mind registered Bella crying out, but I was focused on the dog attempting to rip out my throat.

His mind was furious, screaming obscenities at me as I blocked his every attempt to reach Bella. He couldn't touch me – I was too fast and always one step ahead - but he couldn't get around me either.

_Let me at her!_

"You'll never touch her," I hissed.

But Bella had other plans. When she saw he and I quite willing to kill each other, she jumped forward, too far from Carlisle and too fast for him to stop her.

She moved faster than she had in the forest, faster than I'd ever seen her, and a feral growl escaped her lips. She was _angry_.

"Leave him alone!" She shot towards him, eyes glowing a vicious red and arms outstretched as if she were going to pull him apart. Instinctively, I moved to cover her, to place myself between her and the threat, this time not handling her so roughly. I didn't even touch her as I flung Sam across the clearing. But Carlisle had had enough.

"Stop this foolishness at once!" He shouted. Everyone froze. "This will get us no where. Sam, we want to settle this peacefully. Come back when you are willing to talk. For now, nothing good can come of your being here."

Sam didn't move, and neither did Bella or I.

"Sam." Carlisle was firm and commanding. "Go home. You know you cannot win here now. Go home."

There was another tense moment while Sam mulled over his options. I took the brief moment to glance at Bella; she was just behind me, staring at me intently, as if trying to read my mind, her bright eyes boring into my own. I could not fathom what she was thinking. My own mind was numb with shock.

Sam did not relax, but he dropped his hostile stance, slowly backing away, drawing my attention back to him. Bella would have to wait. Sam's movement indication that he still didn't trust us one bit, not even enough to turn his back to us.  
_  
Only because there are more of you._

With one last snarl, he slunk away.

Only after he was gone did the weight of Bella's actions finally hit me. I turned to fully face her, "What were you thinking? You were supposed to stay out of harm's way! There is nothing worse than an angry, volatile, immature dog." I practically spat the last word and she flinched away from me.

It was the motion that caught my attention and my cold heart sunk in my hollow chest.

I had done it again, hadn't I? She was staring at me with wide eyes. But my temper was flaring, obscuring reason; didn't she realize how dangerous the situation had been? How easily she could have been hurt?

"Edward," Carlisle said sharply, trying to catch my attention. '_Perhaps you should go cool off for a while.'_

Cool off. Yes.

I looked at Bella with a pained expression, whispered, "I'm sorry," and turned on my heel and ran.

The normally comforting rush of the wind had nothing to offer me now. There was no thrill as I raced away, my thoughts too tangled and snarled to even notice the feel of my muscles stretching and coiling, the power of this cursed body completely lost on me.

Why could I do no right with her? I replayed everything in my mind, scrutinizing my actions. I had been doing alright until she threw herself in harm's way. But then I remembered what she had said as she had done so.

Leave him alone. Him. Not me, or us, but him. She was specifically warning the mutt to stay away from me. Why would she do that? I could take care of myself, he was not threat to me. Didn't she understand that? Surely she knew how I could read his every movement.

And then I had gone and yelled at her. I punched a pine tree as I ran past. It uprooted itself and toppled over, taking two others with it. My frustration was consuming me, I needed to take control of it.

But how? I needed to talk with her, that much was painfully clear. I couldn't ignore her – I'd always known that, hadn't I? I could still give her space and talk to her at the same time, couldn't I?

I stopped in my tracks, staring endlessly at the shadows shifting around as my thoughts mirrored the way they danced.

I would explain why I'd gotten so angry. I would ask her what on earth she had been thinking, what had possessed her to throw herself into the fray like that. And then I could ask her what she wanted from me, how I should behave around her. I couldn't risk scaring her off.

Would that be enough? Simply explaining? I thought back to the way she had so readily forgiven James, and it gave me hope. An explanation would have to be enough.

With newfound resolution, I headed home. I'd been gone for hours, and I approached the house, the sun was setting.

I had expected to find things somewhat calmer than when I had left, but I was mistaken.

"What's going on?" I demanded as soon as I was inside. Everyone turned to stare at me anxiously, their thoughts jumbling together so that I could not make sense of them. Carlisle and Esme spoke in low tones from the dining room. Rosalie was looking anxiously out the back window, Emmet at her side, his expression mirroring hers. Alice was waiting for me at the bas of the stairs, Jasper with her, his hand on her shoulder in an attempt to relax her.

"One at a time, what's happening?" I noticed the nomads were no longer with us. They must have left after the matter with Sam was over. All the better.

But Bella was gone, too.

"Where's Bella?" I turned to Alice.

She looked back at me mournfully, wringing her hands, clearly wishing she had better news.

"Bella's gone. She left with the nomads."


	10. Teacher

_AN: I know! I am SO sorry for the delay. An explanation is in my profile, I know you want to get straight to the story. But I am really sorry and will try very hard to keep from having such a large gap between updates again.  
_

_Thank you again for your kind reviews! You are truly my inspiration and make me want to keep writing. And many thanks to firstillusion for her beta work in making this a better chapter.  
_

_Disclaimer: Characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer, no copyright infringement intended._

* * *

**Chapter 10**

_Bella POV_

All I could see was the tortured look in Edward's dark eyes as he looked at me before tearing out of there as if all the demons of hell were at his heels.

I gripped the marble countertop so tightly, the edge broke into pieces in my shaking hands. Was it really that horrible for him to be around me? Was I that much of a burden?

I'd retreated to the Cullen's kitchen, away from the anxious stares, as soon as Edward fled. The family respected my privacy and left me alone to think, convening in the living room to discuss what had just happened. The discussion quickly became quite heated and I didn't have to strain to hear.

"How come Edward gets to play with werewolves?" Emmet exclaimed loudly. "I want a chance to get a piece of him."

"_Emmett,_" Esme chastised, her voice sharp with worry. I could imagine Rosalie glaring at her husband. "That is not helping the situation. We need to solve this as peacefully as possible."

"We need to solve it as _quickly_ as possible," Emmett countered.

Jasper murmured his approval. "He was really angry, Carlisle."

"More importantly," Alice interjected, "I didn't see him coming."

This caught everyone's attention.

"What do you mean, you didn't see him?" Carlisle asked.

"Just that!" I could picture her throwing her tiny arms up in frustration. "I should have seen him coming. I should have seen Edward react the way he did. But I didn't see anything. And when I tried to _look_, all I could see was darkness."

This new information only fanned the flames higher, as Emmett used this development as justification for getting rid of the threat as soon as possible.

And so it continued in circles. Emmett was itching for a fight and Jasper was backing him up. Rosalie and Esme were vehemently against the idea or an outright attack. Carlisle was mediating between the two, trying to find a middle ground. And Alice was simply trying to make sense of the strange blank space in her visions.

I tried to tune it all out, but it wasn't long before I heard the faint step of someone approaching. My eyes flashed to the ruined marble top guiltily – what a way for me to repay their kindness and hospitality, destroy their beautiful home. I'd have to tell Esme I'd help replace it. Somehow.

When I looked up, it was James who stood beside me, much to my surprise. I couldn't ignore the fragment of my heart that broke further in disappointment to see him instead of Edward.

His face was soft, understanding, and he approached me carefully, as if I might bolt at any moment. Which didn't such like such a bad idea, to be quite honest.

"Bella," my name sounded strange, unfamiliar in his voice. He spoke so quietly, I doubted anyone would hear what he had to say; they _could_, of course, but his words were too soft to draw any attention. "I don't mean to intrude, but I think I can help you."

"Help? You? How?" I replied bitterly, then winced at my tone and how comparatively loud it was. There was a lull in the other room, but the debate picked up again and I matched my volume to James's. "Sorry. I didn't mean to sound so rude."

"Perfectly understandable. You're under a lot of stress."

Stress. That's one way to put it, I suppose. I let him continue.

His voice was not quite the honeyed velvet I craved, but was soothing nevertheless. Even and deep.

"I've found the best solution for stress is to remove the source of the problem," he said conversationally.

I stiffened. He couldn't possibly be suggesting what I thought he was…?

He held his hand up defensively. "I was simply stating a fact. I in no way meant to imply we remove young Edward."

Of course not. I was being silly. "Sorry," I muttered.

"No need to apologize." He shrugged good-naturedly. "Instead I have a proposition for you. You, of course, are under no obligation to accept. I'm merely presenting a possible solution."

I peered at him, my curiosity peaked.

"I was in earnest when I expressed interest in this alternative way of life. The Cullens' peaceful lifestyle intrigues me. Perhaps you could accompany me for a time, show me how it works. Keep me on track." He grinned and the light reflected against his teeth and made his ruby eyes gleam.

I shivered. He correctly interpreted my fear, but was quick to reassure me. "It is only an idea. But will you consider it?"

"I'm still a newborn. You know more about being vampire than I do. And any of the others would be a much better teacher."

"But you have demonstrated remarkable control, I'm told. You have never tasted human blood. You were able to converse with a human within a day of being changed. I find that inspiring."

My immediate reaction was to say no. I was flattered, but I couldn't leave the Cullens. They had taken me in without question. And Edward…

But then I thought about the innocent lives I could save if James turned "vegetarian." Didn't I owe it to these faceless strangers to try? Would their deaths be on my hands if I let them become James's next meal?

I smoothed out the edge of the countertop, trying to erase evidence of my earlier frustrations. I stared out the window into the dark forest. I could hear the stream singing its bubbly song as if there was nothing wrong with the world tonight.

And yet, there was so much wrong with me. James waited for me patiently, leaning against the fridge that was nothing more than a prop in this house of mythological beings. I felt his gaze on me but did not turn my face to meet it.

It felt like I was caught between two uncertainties, each one fighting for my heart. To go with James meant to leave absolutely everything I knew behind, but it offered a fresh start and a chance to spare innocent people. To stay meant facing the consequences of that horrible night, but I was with people who cared about me.

But Edward…most of all Edward. I did not want to leave him. Even if he hated me. No, that's not true. If he hated me, I loved him enough to leave. I would not cause him unnecessary pain. That look in his eyes flashed through my mind again.

My heart had swelled when he'd come to my defense, and I sprang to return the favor, furious that this Sam would dare to try to hurt him, only to brushed aside as Edward threw the huge wolf away from me. Didn't he remember how strong I was with my own blood so fresh in my veins? Didn't he think I could help?

I'd growled angrily, completely ready to defend myself without his help when Carlisle shouted a warning for us to stop. My muscles were still tense, on stand-by, waiting for the command to attack.

Sam knew when he was beat. He couldn't win against three vampires, not to mention the others still in the house.

As he retreated, I could only focus on Edward. He looked murderously angry. I thought I knew his anger was directed at Sam, but as soon as the wolf was gone, Edward turned to face me.

"What were you thinking?" he shouted at me, "You were supposed to stay out of harm's way! There is nothing worse than an angry, volatile, immature _dog_."

Every word dripped with accusation and I couldn't stop my body before it flinched away. I realized then he was furious with _me._ _I_ was the reason he'd had to fight. If I'd just stayed inside, Sam wouldn't have gotten so mad. They could have resolved the matter peacefully. Or, at least, with threat of bodily harm.

I'd stared at him, trying to make sense of the dark anger burning in his eyes. It was my fault.

My decision was made.

"Let's go," I whispered. "Right now." I didn't want to drag this out; once my decision was made, I wanted to act on it.

James looked pleased. "Do you want to wait, say goodbye?"

I bit back my shame of abandoning this new family so soon after they'd taken me in. "No. I don't think they'll understand. I can explain when we come back." We wouldn't be gone for very long, I reasoned. Especially by the time reckoning of vampires. Besides, they were all distracted by Sam's recent appearance and what Edward's actions might have set in action. Not to mention the holes in Alice's visions.

"Then I'll fetch Victoria and we'll be on our way." He slipped away and my heart sank. I had forgotten about her. Of course she would be with us, too. I still couldn't put my finger on it, but she made me nervous. But if it saved another human life, I'd be willing to put up with a little baseless nervousness.

Their goodbye was quick and simple. James simply thanked the Cullens for their brief hospitality and said he and Victoria would be on their way. He did not mention me, but wished them luck.

Victoria entered the kitchen at James's side, scowling slightly. I guess she didn't like me any more than I liked her.

"The others are all still trying to decide what to do about the wolf. Victoria and I bid our farewells," James explained simply and guilt clenched in my gut. I was making the right decision. "Let's go. Let's run in case the wolf is still hunting nearby."

I doubted Sam was hanging around, but was eager to run again.

So we ran. I flew across the country like the North Wind, cold and unfeeling, scatting dead leaves and painful memories behind me. We ran through the night and next day. I never tired, only pushed myself harder and further away.

The days quickly began to bleed together. I was still unhappy, but not ready to go back. I was still trying to convert my little coven to my lifestyle.

The first time we hunted my way had not gone well. I needed to feed often and was still an unskilled and messy newborn. Add the fact that it was still so soon after the last time – and under so drastically different circumstances – that it did little to lift my spirits. All I could see was Edward's curious, light-hearted grin as he watched me discover my new strengths juxtaposed in sharp contrast with his burning anger from the encounter with Sam. I did not enjoy the hunt.

Victoria did not bother to hide her disgust at my choice of nourishment, or her satisfaction at the mess I made of myself in the process, smoothing her wild red hair back as I tried to rid my own tattered mane of foliage and blood.

But it was clear she loved James and was whole-heartedly devoted to him. And he was immensely curious.

"It doesn't smell at all appetizing," he said as he watched me try to clean up after my latest kill. "How can you stomach it?"

"I suppose it's because I don't really have anything to compare it to." I shrugged. "Since I've never tasted human blood."

"Never?" Victoria asked in her shrill voice. She must not have been listening whenever James had gotten his earlier information about me. I shook my head. "Well, then, are you in for a treat!" Her eyes turned calculating and I looked at James in alarm.

"Now, now," he admonished, only half paying attention. The other half was eyeing the deer corpse in front of me speculatively. Then he announced, "The next time you hunt, I will feed with you."

Again, he was true to his word. He always was. I was slow to trust him; despite his flawless behavior, there was something that seemed off. I brushed it off as a lingering effect from that night, but it lingered in the back of my mind. I ignored it as best I could. After all, he had offered me this wonderful opportunity to get out and had been nothing but kind to me. He truly was sincere in his endeavor to learn more about this alternative lifestyle and was a model student.

Victoria, on the other hand, only reluctantly joined our feast of caribou somewhere in the Canadian wilderness. She whined whenever she was alone with me, rare as the moments were, her complaints sharp and biting. When we weren't alone, she still complained, but kept it to a minimum – just enough to let James know of her displeasure.

The cycle continued for some time. I didn't realize how long I'd been gone until I noticed James's eyes begun to lighten, turning a burnt sort of crimson amber. Victoria's were still a vivid scarlet, she cheated whenever we passed a large enough city and didn't bother to hide it.

It was then I felt the longing that swam in the back of my mind was not for human blood, as James led me to believe, but for the home I had left behind.

I couldn't help but wonder if Edward was still angry at me. I'd been gone for more than long enough for his temper to cool. Maybe he'd even forgotten about me by now.

That thought stung. I had not forgotten him. The memory of his gentle touch was burned into my ice cold skin. I was ready to go back, to start over from scratch with him.

I had not forgotten my fears, or that pain of that horrible night in Port Angeles, but I wasn't so jumpy anymore. I didn't have much interaction with anyone other than James and Victoria, and that was oddly healing.

I wanted to go back.

I first told Victoria one evening while James was in town "testing his resolve." He insisted on going alone, claiming it wasn't really a test if I was standing watch. He was also getting new clothes for me; mine could barely be considered decent at this point.

Victoria laughed in my face, her girlish trill grating. "You want to go 'home'?"

"Y-Yes," I stammered, surprised at her reaction. "I've been gone longer than I thought I'd be and I want to go back. It's been months. Besides, you and James don't really need me anymore. James's trip to town proves that."

She laughed again. "Oh you silly, naïve girl. You didn't think James was just going to let you _go_?"

My blank expression told her I'd thought just that.

"Oh, child!" She was laughing in earnest now. I frowned. "Surely you realize that he had no intent of letting you leave?"

"Of course he did," I insisted. "He told me as we left Forks that I was free to leave whenever I pleased."

"Of course he did," she mocked. "Don't be ridiculous. You intrigue him far too much for him to let you go. He simple takes his time in getting what he wants from you."

I stared at her in disbelief, my heart sinking. Surely she was mistaken. I turned away from her, intending on finding James and have him explain that she was wrong, that he's only had my best interest at heart.

Hadn't he?


	11. Shattered Glass

_AN: Okay, I know this chapter is a little bit shorter, but I figured you guys would rather have something than nothing at all, and I simply don't have the time or energy to get much more. I'm stretched a little too thin right now.  
_

_A million thanks to firstillusion for helping me not make a fool of myself. Seriously, if not for her beta work on this one...yikes. _

_Disclaimer: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, I'm just playing around._**_  
_**

* * *

**_Chapter 11_**

_Edward POV_

It had been three months. Three long, torturous, never-ending months.

I'd dropped out of school completely. I was in my room more often than not, leaving only to hunt, and even then only under strict duress.

My siblings continued the year at school. No one questioned Carlisle when he told the school administration that I'd been accepted to some special program across the country. I didn't have any friends outside my family to want to keep in touch with me. That was how I liked it.

Alice assured me that Bella was safe and that she left of her own free will. I should have been able to let it go – let _her_ go. Should have been able to at least go through the motions of my abnormal life.

But I found myself paralyzed with anxiety as it simmered through my veins, confining my body to my room, else I would chase after her – an act that would certainly end badly. Best case scenario, she was perfectly fine, but angry I had followed her like an obsessive vampire stalker.

Worst case scenario, I couldn't even bear to imagine.

So I sulked in my room, haunted by the fearful mask of her face as I last saw it, and berating myself for how abominably I'd behaved. I should have had more control than that. I should have known better.

So many "should haves".

My family gave me the space they thought I needed during the day. The house was blessedly silent then, free of their pity and concern and anxiety. I was free to wallow in peace.

Night was a different story. Everyone was either intimately involved with their respective partner, which only poured salt on my wounds, or trying to coax me out of my refuge, which was just as unwanted.

One evening, Alice finally had enough. She flung my door open, Jasper and Emmett in tow, and announced, "Edward, enough is enough. It's time for some tough love."

I shied away from the sound of the door slamming into the wall, curling back into a ball on my couch, returning my gaze to out the window at the dark forest. It was beginning to rain again.

"I don't want your tough love," I muttered.

"That's the 'tough' part about it," Alice replied, exasperated.

"Either way, I don't want it."

"Again, tough." She tugged on my arm.

"Come on Edward," Emmett pitched in, "It's been months. She's gone. I don't see why you're still so upset about it, anyway. She's just some girl."

_That_ caught my attention. I sprang up from my position and grabbed Emmett by the collar, pinning him against the door. Not so hard that I broke anything, but hard enough that the hinges groaned with a painful squeal. "She is not just 'some girl,'" I growled. "And she is _not_ gone for good."

Emmett and the others blinked at me in awe. They have not expected this strong of a reaction. It was more emotion and movement than I had shown in months. Everything I had bottled up was beginning to come to a boil.

"How can you know she's not gone for good?" Emmett asked carefully, maneuvering his way out of my grasp. "She did leave on her own. And it's been three months."

I growled a warning low in my throat as liquid anger continued to bubble just below the surface. "I just know."

"What's stopping you from going after her, anyway?" he continued. Alice and Jasper cringed at his total and utter lack of tact, but there was no denying the curiosity burning in their eyes and thoughts.

I exhaled loudly in frustration. "Because just because I want her doesn't mean she wants me. If she's happier away from me, then that's what I want for her." I struggled to refrain from attacking him again.

"That's bull!" Emmett exclaimed loudly, "You're just scared! You've finally found something you _want_, and you're too scared to risk failing to actually go after it!"

"Emmett," Alice chastised nervously, eyeing me, but I ignored her completely. I wanted to tear Emmett's head off. I wanted to be furious at him and his ridiculous accusation. But… I couldn't be. I didn't know if it was Jasper's presence or if I just couldn't fight the truth anymore.

"Of course I'm scared!" I finally exploded. I grabbed the nearest projectile – a stack of discarded books – and hurled them towards the window where they shattered the glass with an echoing crash, scattering shards of broken glass across the back lawn.

My siblings stared at me in disbelief. For a moment, the only sound was the innocent pitter-patter of the drizzling rain as it dripped down the broken glass.

I stared out the hole I'd just created. "Of course I'm scared," I repeated, much softer this time, my emotions back under my tight control. "For the first time in as long as I can remember, I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what I should do and it scares the hell out of me."

I didn't look at them, instead watching drop after drop fall from the jagged hole, pooling in my dampened carpet.

'_Wow,' _ Emmett was dumbstruck. _'Sorry man. I didn't realize…'_

'_Oh Edward,´_ Alice thought, wishing she could see something that would guide me, or give me some shard of hope.

'_Edward,' _Jasper thought solemnly, '_I understand.'_

"Edward?" Esme called, worried.

I started guiltily, looking back toward my doorway as Esme stepped through it. Of course she'd heard my outburst. All of Forks probably heard it. The others filtered out quietly, leaving my surrogate mother and me alone.

I glanced once more at the broken glass before staring at the floor in shame. I knew better than to act so childishly. "Sorry, mom."

"Oh, Sweetheart, no," she rushed over to me and gathered me up tightly in her arms. "Don't apologize over glass that can be repaired when the slightest word can break you in pieces." She kissed my hair and I collapsed in her grasp, my walls that I'd been building so diligently over the past months crumbling down.

"Edward, please talk to me," she pleaded and led us over to my couch. She sat, pulling me down to sit next to her.

"I don't know what to say."

"Why did you get so upset with Emmett? He only said what we've all been thinking – and you know _that_'s true." She smiled ironically for just a moment before falling into seriousness again. "We're all worried about you."

I thought for a long moment, wanting to answer her as best I could. "Because he said what I've been fighting so hard to ignore," I finally admitted. "By saying it, he made it real."

"Is that such a bad thing?" Her voice was gentle.

"Yes," I replied stubbornly.

"Edward," she chided. "Love doesn't just fall into your lap in a neatly wrapped happily-ever-after package, you know that. If you really love this girl-" I tensed at her implication that I might not, but she was quick to soothe me, "-which I think you do, sweetheart, you're going to have to fight for it."

"What if I'm wrong?" I whispered. The mere possibility was devastating.

"What if you're right?" she countered. "Isn't it worth it to find out? Would you rather spend eternity not knowing?"

I flinched and she leaned forward to kiss my forehead, smiling sadly.

"Real love, lasting love, is worth fighting for. And the fight only serves to make it more real, and more precious." She ruffled my hair softly. "I know I cherish Carlisle – and all of you, for that matter – thanks to the trials we had to overcome in order to be together."

"But it's so _difficult_." I murmured.

She laughed, her voice a gentle chime. "I never said it would be easy, Edward. I only said it would be worth it."

We sat like that for hours. My carpet was completely soaked by the time I finally pulled away.

"I _am_ sorry about the window," I said.

"It's nothing that can't be fixed," she smiled wryly. "And you will be fixing it, there's no getting out of that. And the carpet, too, from the smell of it. I'll not be having a mold infestation of my home."

I groaned. "Yes, mom."

"Now what are you going to do?"

"Do?"

She looked at me significantly. _'About Bella.'_

"I… don't know yet," I answered truthfully. "I understand what you're trying to tell me, I just, I don't know if I'm ready to fight. I have to be one hundred percent sure."

"Edward," she warned, "Sometimes there isn't time to be sure. I know it seems like we have all the time in the world, but sometimes you just have to act. Sometimes you just have to go with your instincts and figure it out later."

I sighed. "I know."

--

Another three days passed before I was approached again by my family.

"You know what I'm going to say, Alice, why even bother asking?" I said, irritated. I was no closer to a decision than I had been three days ago, and I was growing hungry. I was in a sour mood and did not want to be bothered.

Alice simply shrugged and leaned against my bookshelf, carefully avoiding the dark spot on the floor the marked where the rain had seeped through. "It's always worth a shot. This storm's too big to pass up." She glanced at the still unrepaired hole in the glass wall. A tarp covered the opening, but it still blew and shuddered in the wind, and it was clear it would be no match for a real storm.

"You still haven't fixed that?" She observed.

"Obviously not," I retorted. "I'm waiting for the glass to be shipped in."

"Uh-huh," she was unconvinced. "So why won't you come play with us?"

"Because, Alice," I began impatiently, but she suddenly gasped and stood up straight, cutting me off as her eyes glassed over, focusing on her vision.

We saw Bella, standing in a clearing, the moonlight illuminating her pale skin and bright eyes. Bright eyes that were wide and nervous. A flash of red hair beside her caught my attention – Victoria. She laughed in Bella's face.

The picture faded

"Focus, Alice," I hissed fervently. I needed to see more.

Victoria's companion – James, I reminded myself – stood beside her, looking quite pleased with himself. His mouth curled up in a triumphant grin before kissing her soundly.

His eyes glowed scarlet and I did not see Bella.

The vision grew dark again.

I was brought back to the present with a shuddering gasp and a snarl.

"Edward," Alice cried anxiously as I stood in a flash, "What are you-"

"I'm going after her."

* * *

_AN: Please review and let me know what you think! I have over 200 people watching this, and only got 19 reviews on the last chapter. I really want to know what you guys think. I also have a thread over at the twilighted dot net forums and would LOVE to see y'all over there. I can answer questions and stuff so much more easily, and I'll let you know where I'm at in the writing process.  
_

_Thanks for reading!  
_


	12. Daydream

_AN: Hello, my lovely readers! Thank you all so much for your great reviews! I hope everyone had a good Halloween. And who's got their tickets to see Twilight? I'm going to the midnight showing and I'm so excited! In real life news, I've been kind of sick lately and school's a beast, so please be patient with me. I'm also kind of drugged up on cold medicine, so I apologize for any weirdness. _

_Many thanks to firstillussion for her wonderful beta-ness!_

_Disclaimer: Characters to Stephenie Meyer, no copyright infringement intended. _

* * *

**Chapter 12**

_Bella POV_

An awkward and uncomfortable silence stretched between us. Victoria was resting against an old oak, her aura unbearably smug as she flipped through a bright pink paperback she'd picked up from who-knows-where. She kept looking at me and laughing at some private thought.

My muscles were crying for me to run, but my mind was too confused to form any sort of escape plan. If I simply ran, Victoria would catch me – I might be faster, but I had no idea where we were, and she knew the area from previous visits.

So I resigned myself to waiting. James would be back soon enough, and he would clear this whole mess up. Surely Victoria had misunderstood something.

I'd long since dismissed any notion of trying to find him myself; if I didn't know where I was, I had absolutely no clue where I could find him. I'd toyed with the idea of tracking him by scent, but abandoned that idea at Victoria's fierce glares and the worry that I'd catch James at an inopportune moment. If he slipped and I was there, I didn't really know how well I could handle the scent of freshly spilt blood. My "power" was still very much untested.

Hours passed and still no James. I grew more and more anxious. What if Victoria was telling the truth? What if I'd be tricked all this time? And icy weight settled in my gut.

But the heavier question still remained: what would I do if it were true? I would be truly on my own, that much I knew without a doubt. I didn't even know if the Cullens would take me back, given the way I'd disrupted their peaceful lives, and the way I left without even thanking them. But I did know they would never come after me. I had to be realistic – if… anyone was going to follow me, that would have been long ago.

I struggled not to think _his_ name.

I sighed heavily and Victoria glanced over at me from behind her book, a warning in her eyes, not letting me forget her presence, before turning another page.

I sunk against a tree trunk, out of her sight; I couldn't even daydream in peace? I crossed my arms angrily and stared up at the clear sky through the leafy foliage. It was almost dawn; stars flickered in the lightening blue.

What if… what if Edward (I permitted myself to think his name just this once) did come after me? He wouldn't, of course, he'd been furious the last I'd seen him, because of me. But if he did…

I'd run up to him and wrap my arms around his neck, hugging him as close to my body as possible. As long as I was in control, I could find comfort in his touch. I'd bury my face in his neck, drowning myself in that rich honeyed sweetness that was his scent. His hands would wind around my waist, sending electric currents through our bodies. He'd lean down to rest his cheek on the top of my head, returning my embrace as if he'd missed me, too. As If I was precious to him. Impossible, I knew, but this was my daydream, and I could not deny the fact that my heart still irrationally loved him.

I'd pull back to look in his eyes, communicating without words how much I'd missed him, and he'd understand. The fiery intensity I'd glimpsed once before at the piano would burn in his eyes once again. Only this time, there would be no one to interrupt us.

His sweet breath would mingle with mine in the close proximity. My eyelids would drift shut as he'd lean in closer, eliminating all space between us as his lips would finally caress mine. His kiss would be firm and forgiving, until his soft touch drove me mad and I kissed back hungrily…

I snapped back to the present with a gasp. I was being ridiculous. If I ever saw him again, our reunion would be nothing but awkward silences and nervous glances. I'd watched too many chick flicks. Things don't happen like that in real life.

_Vampires_ don't happen in real life either, a small voice chirped in the back of my mind.

I ignored it.

Frustrated, I stood abruptly and began pacing restlessly. The sky was tinted pink and blue with the sunrise and still no sign of James.

Right about at the moment I'd given up and decided to go look for him, my sharp ears detected the faint approach of footsteps. Too soft to belong to a human – it had to be James.

I froze, body tense in anticipation. Had he succeeded with his "test?" Did he kill anyone this time?

Victoria came to stand beside me as if nothing out of the ordinary has passed between us as we waited for James to come into view.

"I don't want to hear a word from you about our little discussion earlier," she suddenly hissed under her breath.

I glanced at her confused. Her expression was carefully composed, but there was no doubting the underlying threat in her voice. If what she said was actually true, why wouldn't she want me to say anything? Or rather, it must have been a lie and she doesn't want me to get her into trouble with James. He was rather protective of me, and I could see him getting cross at her. And she would not like that one bit.

Before I had time to respond, or even really properly digest her comment, James was there.

And his eyes were still that odd honey-gold with a hint of red around the edges. He had succeeded.

I let out a sigh of relief and my body relaxed ever-so slightly. I hadn't realized how nervous I'd been that he'd failed. Of course the thought had crossed my mind fleetingly, but I hadn't _seriously_ considered it until that very moment.

James noticed my reaction and grinned. "Did you really have that little faith in me, Bella? I told you I would succeed, so how could I do anything but?"

Of course. I had the sense to look away embarrassed. When it came to keeping his word, James was unfailing. I noticed Victoria's downtrodden expression and it occurred to me that James had addressed me first, and not his mate.

"Sorry in the slight delay of my return," he continued before greeting Victoria with a hearty kiss. That pleased her. "I caught scent of a rather large cougar and got distracted." He flashed another grin at me. An odd sort of pride swelled inside me at the thought of my direction having a large enough impact on him that he would actually get distracted by something other than a human. "I trust you two behaved yourselves?"

That weight lodged itself in the pit of my stomach again. Did I dare ask him with Victoria right there, so soon after shed explicitly told me not to? James was in a remarkable good mood, perhaps he would be forgiving of her lie.

"Of course, James," Victoria purred before I could make up my mind.

I sized her up quickly. She was larger than me, but I still had traces of my own blood to strengthen me. I could probably overpower her; she hadn't fed in awhile, besides. And I knew I could outrun her, even if I did get helplessly lost.

Plus, her quickness to answer made me even more uneasy as the weight thickened in my gut. I took a deep breath of air I didn't need, trying to sooth my nerves in vain.

"James, I want to go back to Forks." I didn't breathe again as I watched his face carefully.

He looked curious more than anything else, as if he was wondering why it had taken so long for me to bring this up in the first place.

He chuckled, "Don't look so nervous, Bella. You look like I'm about to bite your head off for saying anything."

My eyes flashed to Victoria to gauge her reaction. She did not look happy. I wondered if _she_ was going to bite my head off.

James noticed my panicked expression and the direction of my gaze. He sighed. "Somehow I'm suspecting something happened while I was away. Won't you enlighten me?"

His eyes shifted between mine and Victoria's. I noticed he still hadn't addressed my decision to return.

I looked at the ground. "I mentioned to Victoria that I think I should go back. She… disagreed."

I tensed, waiting for the blow of his or her anger, but to my immense surprise, he only laughed. Victoria scowled from behind his back.

"Is that what this is about? Oh, Bella, you don't need to worry so much about such a petty matter."

I bristled and crossed my arms. _I_ didn't think it was petty.

"You know what I mean, doll." James insisted, correctly interpreting my stance. "Surely it was just a misunderstanding. Tell me."

I spoke quickly this time, before Victoria could misrepresent me. "Well, when I mentioned it to her, she laughed and said you wouldn't let me go."

James looked at me seriously, all humor gone. "And you believed her? Bella, I'm hurt. When have I ever lied to you?"

Never. I recounted everything he'd ever promised me and he'd always followed through. It was almost unnerving, now that I thought about it. Even when he slipped early on, he never tried to hide anything from me.

He interpreted my silence as doubt. "Do you trust me?" he asked gently.

Trust? What a word. Did I trust him? Could I trust him?

"I'm not in any hurry," he continued in an easy tone after a moment of silence. "I don't need an answer. I'll even leave you alone to think. In the meantime," he grinned wickedly at Victoria. "I need to give _you_ a proper greeting." That put a big smile back on her face and they ran off in search of a little privacy.

I tried not to think of what that implied and turned my mind back to his question.

I _should_ trust him. He'd taken care of me without fault ever since we left the Cullens. He'd never given me a reason to doubt him. And yet there was still something I couldn't quite pick out. It was almost too perfect.

No man was that trustworthy. Unbidden, an image of a dark alley floated to the forefront of my mind and I shivered at the memory. I fought it down. No, no man was perfect, but that didn't mean they were all horrible. They couldn't be, could they? Besides, what did I know of vampires? Maybe there was something different in their make-up that made it possible for them to remember all their promises and commitments.

I knew it felt like there was something different in my own mind; it was roomier, and I could recall any moment after my transformation with crystal clear detail. Maybe this physiological detail made it possible for vampires what was impossible for humans.

But it was that crystal clear memory that worried me. If he were truly so trustworthy, would I even doubt him in the first place? There must have been subtle details my subconscious caught and I had missed that made me so nervous. Was that even possible?

I mulled over the question for what felt like hours before the pair returned, clearly in high spirits. James must have read the conflict in my eyes, because he didn't press for any answer.

Instead, he brought up something I had not thought about in some time. "So Bella," he began conversationally. "I was thinking while I was gone. We haven't done much to develop your special ability. How do you feel about working on it for a little while?"

I looked at him, curious. "What did you have in mind?"

_AN: Don't forget to review and please feel free to drop by the Twilighted[dot]net forums or twicexshy at LJ and chat with me!_

_And Americans, go vote tomorrow if you can!_


	13. Flying

_AN: You all thought I'd died, huh? More notes after the chapter, for now, just enjoy._

_Disclaimer: Characters to Stephenie Meyer. I'm just playing with them._

**Chapter 13**

_Edward POV_

I wanted to leave as soon as possible. I wanted to run. I made my decision, I wanted to act on it.

But the rational side of my brain kicked in. I had no idea where Bella was, or how to find her. I turned to Alice – if anyone would know how to find someone, it would be her.

"Edward, it's not an exact science, you know this," Alice insisted after I asked her to look for Bella. "You can't put too much stock into what I see. "

"Alice, it's all we've got," I pleaded. "It's all I've got. Please."

My expression must have been completely forlorn, because she gave in without much more resistance. We were sitting in the room she shared with Jasper – she refused to go in my room now, insisting that she could feel the mold growing under her feet – and I paced restlessly as she perched on the edge of her chair, dark eyes unfocussed.

I felt a twinge of guilt as I noticed her eyes. The whole family had been too anxious to hunt lately. They were all worried that I would do something drastic while they were away or that something would happen and they'd be needed at home. Jasper stopped going to school in order to keep my panic at bay. I heard their concern, but couldn't find any way to dispute it.

Alice flinched and let out a quiet cry, and I attuned myself to her thoughts before the sound died on her lips.

_'I think I found her, Edward,' _she called from her trance. The tone of her voice made me uneasy.

She strained to focus the images before her. I couldn't make sense of the whirlwind of shapes and colors as she clung to the thread of fate that belonged to Bella.

At first, all I saw was white and gray. Snow. Then buildings began to take shape. I ignored them, they weren't what I was looking for.

Then I saw her. The girl that wasn't mine, but should be. The girl that took my heart when she ran away. The girl that wasn't a_ girl _anymore, and it was my fault.

He back was to me, but I recognized her in an instant. Her dark hair was tangled and windblown and her clothes were worn, but I knew her.

She still looked beautiful to me.

Another figure stepped into the foggy picture: James. Just seeing him made my muscle tense as if preparing to strike. He grinned ferociously, eyes bright with the thrill that only comes through the hunt. He laid one hand on Bella's arm and I bristled further. How dare he touch her!

Then Bella turned around, her eyes glowing ruby red, a lifeless corpse in her arms, and licked her lips.

I roared furiously and the image completely disappeared. "We have to leave now, Alice! I don't care if I don't know where she is and I don't care if anyone comes with me, I'm going after her!"

"Edward, please, calm down!" She stood and tried to hold me in one place. If the situation hadn't been so deadly serious and terrifying, it might have been comical to see her tiny frame even think of restraining me. "It hasn't happened yet! It isn't set in stone! There's still time to act. Just give me one minute to think." She pleaded.

"We don't have one minute! One minute is all it would take for her to kill, to let the monster overtake her! She deserves better than that, I can't let her kill."

"We need something to go off of. Where was she…" she trailed off. "Snow. She must still be North for there to be so much snow still on the ground. And the buildings…think Edward, did any of them look familiar?"

I shook my head, frustrated. We should just start running East. We could find familiarities on the way.

"No, don't leave yet, you'll only have to backtrack," Alice said automatically, an image of me running flashing across her mind. She widened her eyes… "Backtrack…. They must be close. "She let go of my arms and grabbed a pad of paper and pen to sketch the buildings in hopes of sparking recognition.

Jasper appeared at the door, tense and alert. "Alice saw something?" He asked, already knowing the answer from the familiar sight of Alice scribbling and no doubt from the frustration that rolled off of my body in crashing waves.

"See if you recognize the skyline," I said tersely. I couldn't concentrate long enough to dredge up any sense or knowledge.

He stood at his wife's side. He shook his head, "No place that I've been. But Carlisle probably would know."

I snatched the paper out of Alice's hands before Jasper finished speaking and was out the door. Carlisle was still at the hospital, and I couldn't waste any more time.

I flew down the stairs and rounded the corner to grab a car, and literally ran into Rosalie.

"I want to look at it," she demanded, grabbing it from my hands. I snarled at her on reflex, but she ignored me as she studied the picture.

I reached for the paper impatiently, "Rosalie, I don't have time-"

"It's Rochester." She said simply. "You should have known that. See that shape there?" She pointed at a dark cluster of buildings. "That's the university. And this gap in the buildings is the river. Rochester."

I stared at her dumbly, then looked at the sketch again. She was right. And I should have known that.

My cell phone was out in a flash as I called the airport to book the next flight out of Seattle. Rosalie still followed at my heels. "I'm coming with you."

I shot her a look, but she didn't back down. "Last time you saw each other, she was still scared. And I can tell you right now that she is going to be terrified of you if you charge her in the current temper you're in. You need me."

The airline chose that time to pick up, and I really didn't have time to argue with her, so I relented. "Yes, I need two tickets on the next flight to Rochester," I said into the phone.

"What's going on?" Emmett appeared, with Esme right behind him.

"We found Bella, and I saw her feeding on a human," Alice filled the others in as she and Jasper came down the stairs.

"I'm coming with you," Emmett insisted, eager to help.

"Get your own flight, I'm not waiting for you," I said, in between grabbing all the official ID and cards I would need and giving the attendant my information as she booked the last seats for me. "Come on, Rosalie."

She gave her husband a sympathetic look and a kiss goodbye, then followed me out the door.

The drive to the airport was silent. Rosalie knew me well enough than to try to talk to me now. She checked us in at the airport quickly, but we still had an hour before the plane even boarded, leaving me with nothing to do but worry. Rosalie glanced at the tickets and cocked an eyebrow at me. "Coach?"

I only glared at her. She rolled her eyes at me and began people watching. _'That is the ugliest coat I have ever seen. Oh, those shoes are cute, I wonder where she got them. Is that child on a leash?'_

I groaned.

An hour was a very, very long time. It felt like the past several months had been somehow squeezed down into this one hour. Nothing I could do would speed it up or distract myself from it's unbearable pace.

_'Seriously, how do some people live with going out in public like that? You'd think they didn't even own a mirror.'_

"Rosalie, _please,_" I murmured. Her inane babbling was grating on my last nerves.

"Don't '_please' _me, Edward," she replied snippily. "I'm just as worried as you are. But I know there's nothing we can do right now. So hold on. You're not helping matters by scarring the other passengers. Learn to play nicely with the other children."

I found it impossible that she was as worried as me. And I found it offensive that she wanted me to simply "hold on." Bella's sense of humanity was at stake here.

"Flight 726 to Rochester by way of Chicago will now begin boarding. Passengers from Boarding Group A, please have your boarding pass ready."

Finally. We were in Group C, but I stood anyway, fully intending to bribe my way onto the plane sooner, but Rosalie held me back. _'The plane won't leave any sooner regardless of when you board. And we're assigned seats anyway. In_ coach.' She sneered that last thought, but I really didn't care at this point. I just wanted to get on the damn plane.

People were so slow in boarding that I had a half a mind to just go up to the cockpit, shut the doors and fly the plane myself. Once again, Rosalie restrained me.

_'It's a good thing I came along or you'd never get there without leaving a trail of destruction behind you. Inconspicuous, Edward, remember?'_

I ignored her and stared out the window, drumming my fingers impatiently on the armrest as the flight attendants ambled through pre-flight preparations, as if they had all the time in the world. But finally everyone was seated, and finally we pulled away from the gate.

Only to return a few moments later. "If we may have your attention please," the attendant said over the loud speaker, "but we seem to have a problem with one of our generators. We need to return to the gate to have our mechanics take a look. "

"No!" I cried out in despair. Rosalie shushed me and held me to my seat.

"We apologize and will do our best to be on our way as soon as possible," the attendant continued in a bored tone, as if I hadn't spoken at all.

I thought I was going to go mad. We sat at the gate for another 45 minutes with periodic announcements informing us of the progress and connecting flight information. And there was absolutely nothing I could do.

Rosalie flipped through the in-flight shopping magazines, critiquing the merchandise. I don't know how she could be so calm when I could barely breathe for worry. She must have felt my incredulous glare, because she finally addressed me through her thoughts, so as not to draw attention from any other passengers.

_'Alright, look Edward, she closed her eyes for a brief moment. I know you think I don't care. I know you think no one can possibly feel the way you do. But I know what it feels like to race against the clock. I carried Emmett though the mountains, not knowing if he would survive or if I would kill him myself. I didn't know him yet, but I knew I would love him. Like I know you know you will love Bella._

_'But here's there thing. You can't do anything right now. She clearly enunciated each word. Nothing. And neither can I. And if I don't keep myself distracted with mundane things, I'll go crazy. And someone here has to stay sane, and it sure as anything isn't going to be you._

_'So stop glaring at me and let me cope.' _She flipped the page of her magazine and the discussion was over. Even though it wasn't so much a discussion as a lecture.

I understood her, I did, but that part of me that understood was the increasingly more dysfunctional part of my mind that was devoted to rational thought. Rational thought that seemed incomprehensible to me at that moment.

But as the plane took off and took me closer to Bella, one mile by one mile. I realized I needed to use that rational part of my brain to find Bella and to help her. So I used the rest of the flight time to plan.

I checked in with Alice when we stopped for our layover in Chicago. She and Jasper had a flight early the next morning, and she hadn't had any new visions. At least, not any important ones, so she claimed. I doubted her judgment of what was important at this point, but knew that she would tell me if something had changed. As for now, it seemed the original vision was holding true.

My first and primary concern was Bella. All I wanted was for her to be okay. Once she was safe and out of harm's way – I pushed the thought "from herself" away – then I could worry about James and his companion, if she was still with them. And if they hurt her in anyway, they would die.

This was my way of coping.

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_AN: So how'd I do after a two month absence? I really am sorry, guys, but my life is insane. I was going to go into this big long explanation, but I'm tired. So please just leave me some love or let me know what you thought. Thanks for reading and for sticking with me!_


	14. Hunter

_AN: I'm still breathing! This chapter was oddly difficult to write... I really don't know why. I think it was just getting everything to line up the way I need it to. And I know it's been awhile, so I'm including a brief recap before the chapter begins. Even without that, though, this one's a bit longer. Enjoy!_

_Disclaimer: Characters to SMeyer, I'm just borrowing them.  
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_Recap:  
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_Trust? What a word. Did I trust him? Could I trust him?_

_"I'm not in any hurry," he continued in an easy tone after a moment of silence. "I don't need an answer. I'll even leave you alone to think. In the meantime," he grinned wickedly at Victoria. "I need to give __you a proper greeting." That put a big smile back on her face and they ran off in search of a little privacy._

_I tried not to think of what that implied and turned my mind back to his question._

_I __should trust him. He'd taken care of me without fault ever since we left the Cullens. He'd never given me a reason to doubt him. And yet there was still something I couldn't quite pick out. It was almost too perfect._

_No man was that trustworthy. Unbidden, an image of a dark alley floated to the forefront of my mind and I shivered at the memory. I fought it down. No, no man was perfect, but that didn't mean they were all horrible. They couldn't be, could they? Besides, what did I know of vampires? Maybe there was something different in their make-up that made it possible for them to remember all their promises and commitments._

_I knew it felt like there was something different in my own mind; it was roomier, and I could recall any moment after my transformation with crystal clear detail. Maybe this physiological detail made it possible for vampires what was impossible for humans._

_But it was that crystal clear memory that worried me. If he were truly so trustworthy, would I even doubt him in the first place? There must have been subtle details my subconscious caught and I had missed that made me so nervous. Was that even possible?_

_I mulled over the question for what felt like hours before the pair returned, clearly in high spirits. James must have read the conflict in my eyes, because he didn't press for any answer._

_Instead, he brought up something I had not thought about in some time. "So Bella," he began conversationally. "I was thinking while I was gone. We haven't done much to develop your special ability. How do you feel about working on it for a little while?"_

_I looked at him, curious. "What did you have in mind?"_

**Chapter 14**

_Bella POV_

It turned out that James had given my ability more thought in the time he'd been away than I had in the whole time since I'd been changed.

"It's been established that other vampires cannot affect you, correct?" He glanced at me, a calculating look in his eye.

I nodded. We'd talked about this before, albeit briefly.

"I wonder if humans would encounter the same difficulty," he mused. "You know we exhibit hints of our gifts before we are changed. There is a man I know – a human. He was remarkably talented at getting out of a tight spot."

"Was?"

He blinked. "Pardon, _is_. I haven't seen him for a little while, and haven't been in touch."

"How did his talent work?"

Victoria cut in, "He could make you believe whatever he wanted – whatever his excuse was. Any lie he told seemed impossible to be anything but truth." She looked bored with the conversation already. Anytime she had to speak to me, she looked bored. "It would be very interesting to run into him again."

"And he would be willing to help me? Would he know what we are?"

"He suspects, but can prove nothing." James answered, shooting Victoria a look, telling her to behave. "He is very level-headed, and he wouldn't bother to spread word of vampires and risk losing credibility when he has no concrete proof."

My brow furrowed as I tried to paint a picture of this man. "But couldn't he use his talent?"

"He could, but there is no good reason to do so." James shrugged. "He is quite intelligent as far as humans go."

"And he would help us?" I asked again.

James grinned, a feral expression that startled me with his abrupt change in demeanor. "This human always does what is in his best interest. We'll give him something in return for his cooperation. Don't worry your pretty little head over it."

I couldn't stop the shiver that tingled along my spine, but chalked it up to nerves. I hadn't spoken with anyone other than him and Victoria in a very long time, and I was anxious for any new contact.

At the same time, an overwhelming rush of sadness hit me as I remembered just who the last people before James and Victoria had been, but I shoved that pain aside as soon as it had come. It did no good to dwell on the past. Not when I had so much future in front of me to focus on.

"Alright," I agreed. "How do we find him?"

"Last time I saw him, he was working in New York. We'll start there and see what we can dig up."

We must have been further East than I'd realized because not two days later, we were standing outside a tall office building in New York City, dressed in clothes that hadn't seen the better part of a month in the wilderness, ready to gather what information we could. It was just me and James, Victoria had split off to hit up another tip.

I felt strangely claustrophobic and anxious in the big city. The throngs of people, screeches of tires and horns, and blare of sirens was so foreign to me, and so much _louder_ than I had ever remembered. It was strange to think that I had once been comfortable living in such a large city – Phoenix was nothing but a distant memory now, a life half forgotten.

"How are you holding up, Bella?" James asked in a casual tone so as not to alert any eavesdroppers. He stood dressed in a sharp suit, looking just like any other businessman on his way to work. My slacks and blouse led others to dismiss me in the same way.

"Fine," I murmured. "A little overwhelmed, but nothing to worry about."

My thirst had been my greatest worry. I was afraid that Charlie had been a fluke, that my unique control would break at any moment. I'd fed – binged, really – before entering the city just in case. Now I felt the familiar uncomfortable itch I could scratch, but there was no danger.

"Good girl. Shall we?" He opened the glass door for me, and I walked into a posh-looking reception area. The floor was a polished marble and my footsteps echoed in the high ceiling.

James followed close after me and we walked to the receptionist's desk.

"Excuse me," he used his car salesman slick voice, and the young brunette looked up expectantly. She seemed somewhat unimpressed, though, when she saw the owner the smooth voice.

"Can I help you?"

"I hope so. We're looking for an old collegue of mine. He used to work here, but I'm not sure if he's still around. We're in town for the week and wanted to stop by."

He gave her the name, and her eyes widened ever so slightly in recognition. "I'm sorry sir, but he does not work at this location anymore. He took a position at a company located in Rochester. I can give you the number if you'd like."

"That would be lovely. An address, too, if you have it. It is a shame he's not here, but we'll be in Rochester soon enough."

"I don't know about it being a shame, but I can give you the information." She reached for a pen.

"What do you mean?" I asked, curious. James looked displeased with my speaking up but didn't say anything, and the receptionist didn't notice.

She wrote the address and number on the back of a business card as she answered, "He left in a bit of a hurry. He was very… eccentric, and it only got worse right before he left. He was very rude. I was happy to see him leave. He always gave me the most random requests." She finished writing and handed the card over to James. And shrugged. "Here you go. Good luck finding him. I don't know if he's still there, but that was the forwarding address I have on file for him."

And we were off again. James called Victoria with a cellphone he'd picked up the same time he'd picked up the new clothing to tell her to meet us in Rochester, then hailed us a cab to a car rental place. When I asked why we didn't just run, he said it would look less suspicious if we arrived by car.

I didn't give it a second thought at first, until I realized we didn't really have a source of income. I briefly wondered about that until I noticed Victoria had been cheating again – her eyes were a deep crimson. I put two and two together and realized whoever had been her snack had also been our money supplier. I shuddered at the thought, but knew there was nothing I could do about it now.

The address the receptionist gave us led us to a nondescript office building. It was simple brown brick, and looked old. The little I'd seen of this town looked old, though, so I didn't think it was odd. Rochester was a good five hour drive from New York, even with vampire speed (thanks to traffic), so we arrived late in the afternoon.

We made our way to a receptionist's desk for the second time that day, this time with Victoria. Victoria stood very close to James, almost as if she were trying to send the message that he was taken, though the receptionist couldn't have been out of her teens. She was a blonde, slight thing, and looked bored.

"Yeah?" She smacked her gum as she looked up at us.

James again asked for the man. The girl shuffled through some papers before answering. "Who are you again?" she sounded distracted.

I could tell James was getting annoyed, but he kept his smooth voice in play as he replied simply. "An old colleague."

"Name?"

James seemed reluctant to give his name, which confused me. Wasn't this an old friend of his? "Is he here or not?"

"I can't answer without a name." She straightened up, suddenly much more interested in what was happening before her.

"And why is that?" Victoria sneered.

"Company policy," the girl sassed right back.

James pushed Victoria behind him, seeing the tell-tale signs of her temper all too clearly. "Miss, all we want is to talk to him. Please just tell me if he's here or not."

"If all you wanted was to talk to him, you'd give me your name." She replied smartly.

"He won't recognize my name," he said, exasperated.

"Then I suppose you are out of luck."

This was her dismissal, because she put the papers away and turned back to her computer, ignoring us completely. I suddenly grew very tense, feeling the air thicken with James's anger. I had never seen him angry, but I'd seen him hunt. The predatory instinct was closely linked to his emotions, and when his was upset, he turned control over to those instincts. His eyes darkened.

"James…"I mumbled. He wouldn't bite her right here, would he? We were alone in the reception area. If he was quiet, no one would know until we were gone. Security cameras, guards, all these were would be simple casualties, and not near enough to slow him down. And Victoria was sure to follow his lead. "Please."

He blinked, and relaxed his stance the smallest bit. He looked at me and seemed to remember himself. He turned and walked out the door without another word to any of us.

Once outside, he paused and looked up at the grey sky. He walked around to the parking lot and climbed into the small black, four-door rental. I glanced at Victoria, but she simply shrugged and climbed into the front seat.

I slid into the back, and as soon as the door closed, James spoke. "He's here. That girl knows more than she let on."

"Why –" I began, but Victoria cut me off with a glare.

"You know his location, that's the important part. We'll simply have to be more… persuasive with him," she purred, trying to bring his spirits back up.

"Yes." He stared at the building.

I waited a moment before trying to speak again. "What is-"

Victoria cut me off again. "I think it would be wise to hunt tonight, and focus on speaking with him tomorrow. We have plenty of time. And I believe there are large wolves this far north."

Now I knew something was up. Victoria rarely even bothered to pretend to "vegetarian," let alone suggest hunting.

"That's a good idea," James said. "I need to run. There's a good sized wood not far, I can park outside of town, and we'll run from there."

I kept my mouth shut this time.

Victoria never missed a chance to rise to the occasion when provoked, I just needed to wait until we were alone, and I knew I could get her to talk.

My chance came sooner than I'd hoped. James seemed especially anxious, and was off like a shot as soon as we were out of the car. I caught the scent of a large buck, and hoped that was what got him so excited. It was a foolish hope. The rational side of me knew that no vampire would ever get so excited over a measly buck. This was something bigger.

I turned on Victoria as soon as James was out of earshot. "Why did you keep cutting me off?" I demanded. "We were going to see this man because of me, I think I deserve the right to ask questions."

Something I'd said set her off, and she just _laughed_ that annoying trilling laugh. "You still think we're going because of you? You silly girl, I thought you were smarter than that."

"What?" I wished she'd stop laughing at me.

"Oh funny thing, we're not going for you!"

Now I was getting angry. "What do you mean?"

"Like I'd tell you. You should have been more specific with your questions when James was in a good mood."

Now I was angry and confused. "Just tell me."

She suddenly stopped laughing grew very serious. "You naïve girl. James never does anything unless he benefits from it. You must have learned this by now."

"I don't understand."

"He is a hunter. Every time he hunts, it is a new game he plays, and he hates to lose. It happens so rarely, that when it does, he gets extremely put out. But he is a patient man. He doesn't count the game over until he wins or he dies."

She was making less and less sense. "When you say wins, you mean-"

"The prey dies, yes, of course. But sometimes the prey eludes him. Sometimes the prey is smarter than James gives it credit for. Sometimes James needs assistance."

It suddenly all clicked. "This man…he isn't an old friend, is he?"

Victoria smirked.

"James is… using me to hunt for him?"

Her smirk widened.

"How? I still don't understand."

"You are the hook, line, and sinker, dear. You're the lure to draw the man out. He won't be able to resist a challenge; he's much like James in that way. You're the one helplessly drawn to fresh blood, and once that blood is 'accidentally' spilt, James knows you won't be able to control yourself. And no human can escape a vampire ruled by pure instinct – you, a newborn."

"But James knows that I wouldn't kill a human! And he has never lied to me, why would he start now?" Nevermind the fact that I wasn't like other newborns. And James _knew_ that. He must think that the sight and smell of blood will overrule all of that.

"He also knows the lure that freshly spilt blood holds for a newborn such as yourself. And what makes you think he hasn't been lying to you this whole time? He's very good at what he does. He knows how to earn trust, and how to twist the truth to suit his needs."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I did trust James. But Victoria had no reason to lie about this to me. She enjoyed teasing and torturing me, and telling me these things would surely do just that.

Before I could properly sort things out, I heard James approach. I looked at Victoria, frightened.

"Just ask him if you don't believe me. He'll deny it of course, but watch him. You'll see I'm telling the truth."

"Why are you telling me this?" I whispered.

She narrowed her eyes and stepped towards me, stopping just in front of me and hissed just loud enough for me to hear. "Because I don't like you. I want you gone. I don't like the way he looks at you. The sooner you're out of the picture, the happier I will be."

James appeared then, before I had the chance to reply. "Are you girls hunting or not? I want you strong for this, Bella."

I nodded absently and let him lead me into the forest. I would sort this out later.

***

We hunted the rest of that night and well into the next day. Snow was falling from the sky, covering our tracks and making for distracted animals. It was all too easy to catch a few deer.

By the time we returned to the city, it was late the following afternoon, and I still didn't know what to think.

I was distracted as James drove to the office building. I didn't even register where we were until he killed the engine and stared at one window in particular: third from the left on the third floor.

"What is it?" I asked.

"That's his office," James said confidently. "I saw him there yesterday, watching us leave."

I glanced at the window. The glare from the setting sun prevented me from seeing inside, as well as from getting out of the car, lest any human should see my skin in the sunlight. "What are you planning to do?"

"Wait until the sun sets. He was a bit of a workaholic; he won't leave."

"And then?"

"Then we'll let ourselves in. He'll be too wrapped up in his work to notice." That feral grin was back. "And then we'll talk to him."

I didn't like the cool wildness that crept into his voice, but there was nothing I could do. So I waited.

I watched people come and go, none of them sparing a glance at the ordinary black car. I watch other cars come and go. I never knew much about cars as a human, but one in particular caught my eye and made my stomach clench.

'_Don't be ridiculous, Bella. There is more than one silver Volvo in the world.'_ I was being ridiculous. Never mind that the windows were tinted, and pulled out of sight.

I mentally shook myself. The night had fallen, and James opened his door.

It was time to go.

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_AN: Thanks again so much to everyone for reviewing! It really helps me get back into gear, and just basically makes me really happy. And I need all the happiness I can get right now, life is stressful as ever. But I graduate (from university~) in April! The end is in sight!_


	15. Found

_AN: We're so close to the end! I think just another chapter or two. If there's anything unclear about what's going on in the chapter, let me know. You'll find out a bit more about Bella/James's side in the next chapter, but I want to make sure I catch everything. Please review! I'm up to 350 story alerts on this thing but only get about 20 reviews a chapter. I want to know what you think! Thanks so much to all you wonderful people that have reviewed. They seriously make my day.  
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_Many thanks to apresmoi for helping me brainstorm and firstillusion for being a fantastic beta and helping everything click into place!_

_Disclaimer: Characters to SMeyer, I'm just playing with them._

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**Chapter 15**

**EPOV**

Our first stop as we de-boarded the plane was to get a car. Rosalie wanted me to get a silver Volvo, just like the one I had at home.

"It'll be reassuring to her, to see something familiar," she insisted.

"Or it'll scare her off," I retorted.

"Trust me," she said firmly. "This is going to be hard enough on her as it is. She'll want some kind of warning, and this is the best we can do. It'll make her think about you, if she isn't already thinking about you constantly, and that will give her just a little more time to prepare."

I didn't argue any further. I simply slipped the man at the car rental desk a tip and it was done.

We were in Rochester before the sun set and as soon as we crossed the city limits, I was dialing Alice on my cell phone.

"I don't know _exactly _where she is yet, Edward," she said by way of greeting.

"Did you get anything new?"

"It's still foggy, but with the path you're on, you're definitely going to see her again."

I hesitated before asking, not sure if I wanted to hear the answer. In that moment, Alice knew what I going to ask, and answered anyway, "It's a good thing, Edward. I can't tell you much, but I can tell you it will be a good thing when you two see each other again."

I breathed a sigh of relief. Rosalie muttered a "See?" beneath her breath.

I thanked Alice and told her to call me the instant she got anything more. She wished me luck and promised she would keep her end of the deal.

I turned to Rosalie. "So, since you are apparently the thing keeping me sane right now, what do you propose we do? Just drive around aimlessly?"

"No, not aimlessly," she cast a glance at the setting sun. "It's still a little too bright to go on foot and try to catch a scent, but we can still look. Alice saw part of the University in her vision right? So we can start there and see if anything turns up."

It was better than waiting for Alice to call with an update, but not by much. We were searching for a needle in a haystack. A rather volatile needle in a very dangerous haystack, at that. But it was a plan, and I couldn't just sit still and twiddle my thumbs.

The university at first seemed to be a waste of time; Bella was no where to be found. I had no illusions that we'd find her on our first try. Besides, James had no reason to go there. "Think, Edward," Rosalie murmured, "Where would he take her?"

"If I knew that, we would be there already," I replied tersely.

"Hey, I'm trying to help you here. Knock it off." She gave me a dirty look.

I felt guilty immediately. I _knew_ she was only trying to help. But my nerves were simply too much on edge to act in a rational manner.

And then, as we pulled to a stop at a stoplight on the edge of campus, everything changed.

I caught her scent. _I caught her scent_. I would know it anywhere, and I knew it was here. Overwhelming relief struck me as I realized we were actually in the right place at the right time. I would get to see her again. Somehow the possibility didn't seem real until I could actually smell her. The university wasn't as much of a waste of time as I originally thought. They must have stopped here with a window down, because her scent was riding the cold breeze. It came from the same direction as we did, and I whipped the car around in a highly illegal U-turn, barely missing a green sedan in my haste.

Rosalie caught the scent about the same time I did, but did not need to urge me to go faster. Her face was calm, but her thoughts were just as anxious as my own.

We approached an ordinary looking office building, perhaps an administration building for the university . The lot was devoid of any human activity, but there was one car parked in the visitor's spot. Bella's scent hung around it, faint, but very much there.

"Don't do anything drastic, Edward." Rosalie said suddenly. "Pull around to the other side."

I froze for a fraction of a second – that man, James, opened his door. A beat later, Bella stepped out of the car. _Bella_. She was finally within my grasp again and everything else faded from the foreground. I only had to step out of my car – no, roll down the window even, and she would see me.

"Pull around," Rosalie repeated insistently. She reached to grab the steering wheel, but I shoved her arm away.

"What?" I hissed incredulous. We were far enough around the corner to be out of their eyeline, so it didn't matter anyway if we drove all the way to the back. "We fly clear across the country, finally find her, and you just want to _leave_?"

"Not _leave_," She said, exasperated, "Act in a rational manner."

Before I could speak again, she continued, "Look, if you rush in there, guns blazing –" I cocked an eyebrow. " – Not literally, of course, you know what I mean." She rolled her eyes. "If you rush in there, you'll scare her and spook James. Who knows what he'll do if he thinks he's in danger?"

She had a point. This was why I allowed her to come with me. I knew better, but on my own, I didn't have the strength or clarity of mind that I needed. And I wasn't going to do anything more to put Bella in danger. I pulled around to the back of the building like she suggested, then looked to her for direction as I parked the car in the far corner, hidden in shadows.

"Here's the plan." She was all business now, and I listened carefully, keeping one eye and ear on the building at all times, keeping what tabs I could on Bella.

"Clearly they're after a specific target," she mused, "Or else they would hunt someplace less conspicuous. So we'll have to follow them in. It's dark enough now that we can get out of the car safely."

"Then let's go."

"We need to wait just a bit longer, or James will catch our scents."

I groaned. I couldn't wait any longer. "He's not paying attention to us. His mind is completely trained on Bella and the man that is his prey. Unless he do something to directly attract his attention, he won't pay us any mind."

Saying I was eager to start moving was the understatement of the year. And though Rosalie kept a calm and controlled exterior, her thoughts continually betrayed her anxiety.

So we followed Bella as she was ushered along by her captor, waiting to see their destination. They opted for the simplest route: simply walking in. The front lobby was empty and they moved too quickly for the front security cameras to catch.

I listened to James's mind, anticipating his next move. I knew his target now – a man on the third floor. A man that had eluded him for too long in this game of hunter and prey. And James was using Bella to finally win. She was the bait to distract this man. This man, who had a passion for pretty faces and who had wronged James in the past somehow. All James's mind revealed was that this man would pay for what he had done. I was furious. How _dare _he use such an innocent and beautiful creature such as Bella for such vile purposes.

Rosalie seemed to sense my tension and put one hand on my arm as we waited for them to exit the stairwell so we could follow without detection.

'_Edward, you'll get your chance. For now, focus. Don't let your temper get the best of you.'_

I took a deep breath to calm myself down, and all it did was overwhelm me with Bella's scent. But it reminded me of my purpose. I was here for Bella. I could deal with that scum when she was safe.

A sudden thud echoed through the hallway; they'd reached their destination, following the scent of their prey.

"James?" We heard Bella ask uncertainly. She sounded scared. James's thoughts were triumphant. His prey was cornered.

The time for stealth was over.

Exchanging one look with Rosalie, we both flew up the stairs and down the hall until we stood in the doorway to the hunted man's office.

The office was fairly large with a desk covered in papers. There were books piled around haphazardly, as if this man was working on researching something just out of reach. The man himself was standing behind his desk, looking around in alarm.

James stood directly behind the man, having moved faster than the human could track. The woman, Victoria, sauntered to the middle of the room, looking the man up and down as she tried to decide where the best place to bite would be. The man was eying her back appreciatively - he did not see James behind him, ready to strike. Bella, my sweet Bella, was frozen just feet away from me.

"James?" Bella asked again, "You said we would just talk to him." She hadn't noticed us yet.

"James?" The man laughed easily and turned to evaluate her. He liked what he saw and I bit back a growl. "No dear, my name is -"

"I did say that." James was eying the man's throat as he laughed as the man spun around at the sound of James's voice. James looked up to speak to Bella, then his eyes narrowed as he caught sight of Rosalie and me. Bella and Victoria followed his gaze when he didn't speak for a moment.

Bella slowly turned around, as if afraid to see what could shock James so. When she saw me, so many emotions flickered across her face that I could not label them before they were replace with another. Shock, disbelief, curiosity, did I dare see happiness? But then worry, and finally, fear.

She spun back around to face her two companions, but did not seem to know what to say or do. There was a tense second before Rosalie took control.

"Bella, do you want to stay with them?"

Her eyes flashed to mine before meeting Rosalie's intense stare. She shook her head firmly, once, before looking to see James's reaction.

But Victoria acted first; she sprang at Bella, shrieking, "You little brat! I knew we shouldn't have bothered with you at all, you worthless thing!"

I roared in anger and crashed into her, blocking her attack on Bella and crashing into the wall, bringing it down as I landed lithely in the conference room next door.

She snarled at me and circled the table, eyeing the distance she'd need to cover to make another attack. I growled low in my throat, blocking her path again.

Her thoughts were racing through the possibilities, '_Try to rush him or get around him? Turn and run? Leave to fight another day? James always said to get out if things went sour.'_ Her eyes flickered to Bella and with one last sneer, decided to turn and run.

'_After her, Edward!'_ Rosalie "shouted" at me. I hesitated, wanting to stay with Bella, and Rosalie only grew even more angry. '_You're the fastest and only chance of catching her. Do you really want her roaming when this is over, especially if we kill her mate?'_

That sealed it for me, and with an apologetic look at Bella, I was out the door.

Victoria was surprisingly difficult to follow. She headed straight to the river, trying to hide her scent, but once I realized that that was what she was doing, her thoughts betrayed her location. She was staying underwater and heading upstream where she'd head North until she got far enough to change direction and loose me at an airport.

But she didn't know I could read her mind, and I ran alongside the river until I approximately at the same place as she. We were well out of the city limits as I dove in after her.

She cried out in frustration as she saw me, and headed for the bank, knowing she was a better fighter on land.

I followed just as quickly, and she turned to face me. We stood in a clearing along the waterfront. '_He's fast, but that doesn't mean he can fight. The sooner this is over, the sooner I can get back to James,'_ she reasoned, analyzing my stance.

She was crouched at the edge of the clearing, waiting for me to make the first strike. I simply waited. She would grow impatient and attack, and I would read her every move before she made it.

As she waited, she debated running again. I could not have that.

"Don't go, Victoria," I murmured. "You'll never get another chance like this. And you know I will never stop hunting you or James."

She pressed her lips together in a tight line, staring me down, knowing I was right. We were both frozen statues, the only motion in between us was the water as it dripped from her wild hair and down our stone bodies. The only sound was the gentle ripple along the river's surface.

We were wasting time, waiting for one another, and I needed to get back to Bella. I began to goad her, "Though it shouldn't matter to you if I hunt James. He has no real affection for you, you know that." There was movement again; her eyes narrowed. I slowly tapped the side of my head. "I would know, I can hear his thoughts."

With a feral shriek, she launched herself at me, but I easily sidestepped her and we began to circle one another.

She tried to change tactics, feigning another lunge and switching direction at the last minute, but again, I saw the plan in her head and easily avoided her. She sank into a crouch for just a split second before coming at me again and again in rapid-fire succession, but each time I heard her plan before she could touch me.

I was making her angry. She wanted me to stop dodging and start actually fighting.

She wanted a fight? I'd give her a fight.

This time as she sprang towards me, I met her halfway and our bodied met with a roar of thunder. We ripped at each other, teeth snapping, but I was too fast for her. Her own reflexes were almost as fast, and even with my ability to read her mind, she was not an easy match.

But I had to win and soon. I let her rush me and in one quick movement, I was behind her, teeth bared. I grabbed her arms and pinned them to her body, and severed her head with my razor-sharp teeth. With one final dying shriek, she fell to the ground.

I mechanically dismembered her, anxious to get back to the others, but knowing better than to simply leave her here.

Victoria was dead. I needed to burn her remains, but I didn't have a lighter or any means to make a fire. The trees were too wet with snow to be of any use. But I couldn't just leave her remains here.

I tore off my shirt and made a make-shift sack out of it, gathering the pieces and piling them on the fabric, wrapping the fabric up in a bundle, all the while thinking that Alice is going to kill me when she finds out I ruined the shirt. I used the scraps of Victoria's clothing to make additional bags until every piece was accounted for.

The fight hadn't taken more than 30 minutes, yet I was worried about Bella. Rosalie was an excellent fighter, but James was deadly and Bella was inexperienced. The thought of her fighting at all made my stomach clench in fear. What if she was hurt while I was occupied with Victoria? What if she wouldn't have been, had I been there? I needed to be there, near her. I hurried back, not knowing what sight would greet me.

I did not expect to see Bella clutching the corpse of the man, her back to me, her hair and clothes mussed, looking unbearably like Alice's vision.


	16. Wanted

_AN: Let's just get right into this, and I'll talk afterwards. Characters to SMeyer, I'm just playing with them. Thanks to firstillusion for beta-ing for me all this time!  
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**Chapter 16**

**Bella POV**

I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw Edward and Rosalie standing in front of me. If I hadn't been so terrified, my throat dry with the scent of the frightened man permeating the air, I might have thought it was all a dream. But no, this was real. This was really happening to me.

Why was he here? I'd been gone for months, why would he show up now, of all times? How on earth did he find me? Did this mean he still want me? Impossible. There must be another puzzle piece I didn't know about.

I turned back to James, waiting to see what he would do. He was murderously angry to have his game interrupted, but he didn't make his move just yet.

"Bella," I heard Rosalie's voice call my name, and I turned back to them, looking to Edward first, purely by instinct. "Do you want to stay with them?"

Stay with them? These people that had been lying to me for months, used me for bait, and had absolutely no loyalty to me? Rather than go with Rosalie and _Edward_, who, if nothing else, would at least treat me with respect.

I shook my head decisively. And if my eyes weren't playing tricks on me, I could've sworn I say Edward's face relax for the briefest second, as if he'd anticipated my refusal. Which was ridiculous.

Before I could analyze that any further, Victoria decided she was done with me. All those times of being forced to be civil to me must have grated on her, and this was the final straw. She lunged toward me, shrieking, "You little brat! I knew we shouldn't have bothered with you at all, you worthless thing!"

I braced myself to counter her, but Edward, _Edward_, sprang between us, crashing into Victoria, and the nearest wall, leaving a gaping hole in his wake. I could do nothing but watch, my eyes wide in horror. What if she hurt him? Why would he do that for me?

I didn't have enough time before Victoria decided to make a run for it. And after a moment's hesitation and an apologetic look, Edward followed.

Frozen, all I could do was stare at the hole he'd disappeared through.

With a sickening CRACK, my attention was brought back to the small, dimly lit office space.

I spun back around, both dreading and knowing what I would see. James had used our distraction to reach his goal: he snapped the man's neck.

"No!" I cried and ran towards him, not knowing what I was going to do, simply knowing I had to do something.

"It's too late, little Bella," James laughed as the man's heart stuttered to a stop. "He's dead. I win."

"No," my voice was weak. I couldn't believe he'd just done that. That just like that, this man was dead. "No…"

"Bella," Rosalie called softly, but I ignored her. James couldn't get away with this.

I wasn't normally an angry person, but after seeing Edward when I thought I would never see him again, after learning James was just playing me all this time, and after seeing him kill a man in cold bold, I snapped.

I lunged at him, teeth bared, arms outstretched, ready to tear him limb from limb.

He snarled and tossed the body at me like a shield. I caught it easily; it was still warm. I couldn't see straight anymore. All I saw was James, and his attempt to escape.

I charged him again as Rosalie darted to block his exit. He looked at the two of us on either side, a smug look on his face. He was confident I could not beat him. Well, I would show him.

Rosalie and I watched him like hawks, and he turned to face me. My eyes darted to Rosalie's, but James spoke in the smooth voice of his, catching my attention. "Come now, Bella. We both know you won't fight me. What was he to you?" he gestured toward the body, which was sprawled on the carpet. "Nobody. And I? I took care of you. I was there for you when no one," he stressed the words, "else was."

"You lied to me." My voice was low and deadly. I knew I was stronger and faster than him. But he had more experience than I did. "Why should I believe anything you say to me now?"

"Because you have no one else." He replied simply. "Who would want you?"

"We want her," Rosalie growled. "And if it's what she wants, she's coming back with us."

He seemed to have forgotten Rosalie was in the room, and when she spoke, he realized the two to one odds. He narrowed his eyes, then glanced at the window behind me.

"Try it." I growled. "I dare you."

His pride wouldn't let a challenge from me, a mere newborn, little Bella, go. I was the only thing standing between him and his escape. The man he killed didn't matter to him anymore. All he cared about was getting away. I doubted even Victoria crossed his mind at this point.

He shifted his weight left, then right, then left again. I mirrored his every move. Then, he launched himself at me, trying to feign left, but I cut him off. He crashed into me and tried to overpower me, gripping my shoulders and shoving me to the side. I stumbled back, just long enough for him to change directions, and just long enough for Rosalie to cut him off. I leaped back up, and latched onto his back. With one swift twist, I did exactly what he had done to the man and snapped his neck. Only I didn't stop there. In another twist, the head was wrenched free.

"We need to burn the pieces," Rosalie said urgently.

"Here?"

"No, we can stage this to look like a simple break-in. I'll carry him out to the woods and we'll start a forest fire. You take care of that, if you're alright." She nodded toward the near forgotten corpse.

I wasn't alright, but I nodded. I could handle that. She scooped up James's remains and dashed out. I think she expected me to follow right after, but as soon I crouched next to the body, it all hit me.

I just killed a man.

I grabbed the body, desperately hoping that everything my vampire senses were telling me was wrong, that he was somehow still alive. I tried to find any sign, a pulse, a breath, but it was in vain. He was gone. The human warmth was fading.

Footsteps softly echoed in the silence. It must be Rosalie, wondering what was taking me so long.

"Bella?"

That was _not_ Rosalie's voice.

I slowly set the body down and turned around.

There he stood, and I don't know what did it, if it was the fact that I truly never expected to see him again, if it was the relief that James was dead and Edward was not, if it was the grief of the man's death, or if I was just losing it, but I rushed at him, throwing my arms around him and burying my head in against the cold skin of his chest. He didn't even hesitate, he wrapped his arms around me, so tight I wouldn't have been able to breathe if I'd needed to. I crushed myself to him, needed to feel he was real. My body shook as I sobbed tearlessly.

"Bella, Bella," he murmured against my hair. "I thought I lost you."

I could only shake my head.

"What happened? Where's James?"

"I killed him," I choked out. "He killed that guy, and I killed him. He lied to me, Edward. He tricked me. "

"Shhh, It's alright now." He smoothed my hair down and kissed the top of my head. "I'm here now. You can come home now."

Home? I shook my head. That wasn't possible anymore. "I can't go home with you," I protested, but couldn't force my arms to loosen their grip. "Why would you want me to? I killed someone, Edward."

He loosened his grip and I knew this was the part where he left. I was no good for him.

Instead, he surprised me by hooking one finger under my chin, forcing me to look up at him. His eyes burned into me, and I couldn't speak. "Isabella. I want you. I have wanted you since I first saw you, and I have wanted you these long months without you. Don't make me chase after you again, because I will, without hesitation, but I want you to be with me now. "

"But I – "

"No, Bella, listen to me. We don't all have clean records. I've killed more than once. And none of us, least of all me, will fault you for yours. If you hadn't killed him, I would have. He would not have been allowed to live. Not just because of what he did tonight, but for what he did to you."

I didn't know how to respond. My shaking subsided, and after a moment, I just let him press my head to rest against where his heart would beat. "I'm just so glad to see you again. To hold you," he sighed softly.

When I still didn't speak, his body tensed. "Of course," he said hesitantly, "If you want me to leave, I'll go. " He began to pull back.

"No!" I cried and held him tighter. "I want you, too, Edward. Of course I do. It's just… I've been so stupid. I don't know what to do now."

"Well, we can start with helping Rosalie clean this up and cover our tracks." We broke from our embrace, but I held his large hand tightly between my two smaller ones. "Then, we'll go back to the others. Alice and Jasper were on their way to help, I'm sure they'll be here soon. Alice is dying to see you again. And then, we'll go back home. "

"Back to Forks?"

"No, we were getting ready to move up to Denali, to spend time with some friends there. "

I stiffened. More vampires. Edward caught my expression and squeezed my hand. "They'd like you. And they're like us in their diet. Besides, they live well out of the way of any humans, and it would be nice for you to have that distance. Please come with us?"

I could never deny him anything, and told him as much. "I'm going wherever you're going."

"That's all I need to know right now." He kissed my forehead, and I closed my eyes, savoring the sensation. When he pulled back this time, his eyes darted to my lips. He was going to kiss me.

Panic suddenly flared up deep in my chest. I wasn't ready for this! I couldn't handle this!

He moved closer, and I ducked my head, dodging him. He looked surprised, the rejection written clearly in his eyes.

"Sorry," I whispered. "I... can't. Not now. Not yet." I pleaded for him to understand. I owed it to him – and to myself – to have my emotions sorted out before any of that. No matter how much I wanted him.

"Of course, Bella," he made my name sound like a caress. "I understand."

"Do you really?"

He sighed and smiled sadly. "You've been through a lot today." He rested the tips of his fingers against my cheek. "Through these past several months, too. I understand that you're confused. I'll give you all the time that you need. I'll be right here. After all, I have eternity, and I know of no other way I'd rather spend it than to be with you."

We just stood there holding each other for a long time. Long enough for Rosalie to come back to see what was taking us so long. When she saw us, a small smile curved her lips before breaking us apart and making us help her stage the office. We moved quickly, making it look like a simple break-in. We knocked over a bookshelf to account for the hole in the wall and looked for anything valuable. We didn't find much and threw what we did in the river.

Then we left. Just like that. It would go down as yet another unsolved case. But I knew who did it, and why. And I repaid the culprit in kind as best I could, a life for a life.

We met up with Alice and Jasper at the airport, and Alice hugged me almost as tight as Edward did, squealing with happiness. Jasper smiled warmly, saying he was glad to see me.

We met the rest of the family in Alaska, where I was greeted just as warmly. Emmett wrapped me up in a fierce bear hug, and as soon as he let go, Esme wrapped both Edward and me in her arms, telling me how grateful she was that we were both home safe. I wanted to cry all over again.

And Edward held my hand the entire time.

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_AN: So, that's the last chapter, y'all. I'm writing a short epilogue, so let me know what all you want me to include. That should be up soon... there won't be the normal month between updates. I think a week or so. I finished my student teaching (YAY) and I'm graduating exactly one week from now, after which I'm moving back home to Kansas. So life is a little hectic, but I take lots of breaks. :D_

_Thank you for sticking with me! I know it's been a VERY long road and it's just about over. I'm kind of sad to end this, but I'm excited to move on. _

_Please review and I'll see you again soon!  
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	17. Epilogue

_AN: Here we go! Thanks so much to firstillusion for sticking with me all this time and to all my wonderful readers and reviewers. You people are seriously amazing._

_Disclaimer: Characters to SMeyer, I'm just playing around._

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**Epilogue**

_EPOV_

The months after Bella rejoined my family were some of the happiest I could remember, and I could remember more than I cared to.

We went North first, to meet Tanya's clan. I was apprehensive at first about Tanya and Bella meeting, but Tanya took to her like a mother hen to her chick. Once Tanya found out about her past, she was determined to teach Bella everything she knew about the male species and how to bring them to their knees.

Of course, I didn't know about these lessons until many months later when said student decided to test them out on me. Not to say I wasn't a willing participant. I still loved her as much as any creature could love another, though I was still unsure of her affection towards me.

I knew she cared about me, of course, but she was very reluctant to let anyone get close or earn her trust. With good reason. I tried not to pressure her, and watched my every word and action around her. I let her take the reins every time, and it seemed to pay off. There were times when she _would_ take control by initiating small things like hunting trips or a movie or game.

So when she suggested going for a walk one evening, I thought nothing of it. We'd taken to walk along the snow banks to watch the stars fall at twilight; it was a very peaceful time for the both of us. I had no voices in my head, and she didn't have overanxious family members hanging around, watching her every move to determine if she was alright or not.

We started walking to our normal place, a lake overlooked by a sheer cliff. We climbed to the top of the cliff and sat, watching the night fall. I sat a respectful distance from her, still wary of her aversion to touch.

She scooted closer to me, and after hesitating a moment, pulled her knees up to her chest and leaned her head on my shoulder.

I stiffened in surprise. She had not really instigated any physical touch since that day in Rochester. She looked up at me through her long lashes.

"Is this okay?" she whispered.

"Of course." I shifted my weight so she could rest comfortably against me.

We stayed in that position for a short time before she shifted again, this time, curling into me so she was facing me, resting one hand on my chest, playing with the buttons on my shirt.

I started feeling… not uncomfortable, but… anticipatory. I glanced down at her, and she had that glint in her eye that she got when she was determined to do something.

Her eyes flicked up to mine, and she smiled shyly. My lips could not help but smile back in response.

"Still okay?"

"More than okay," I leaned down to breath in her ear. She shivered and bit her lip as I leaned back, grinning.

She watched her hand for a moment. The sun was setting lower and lower, and the bright moonlight reflected off her marble skin, making her almost glow.

Then, her hand began to move again, slowly upward, until it reached the skin of my neck. My breath hitched as her fingertips brushed against my jaw line.

"Bella," I breathed.

"Shhh," her fingers continued their exploration, up and down, tortuously slow. Then, rested on my bottom lip.

"Edward," she said softly, "I don't think I've ever really thanked you for what you've done for me."

"Bella," I started to protest, but she held one finger to my lips and shook her head.

"Let me say this. I can't begin to tell you how grateful I am to you for being so patient with me. James hurt me. And I was still hurt from… from before." She looked down, and I placed two fingers under her chin and nudged her back up.

"Don't hide your eyes from me, please." I smiled gently and she returned the gesture.

"I needed time to heal. And I know I'm not all the way healed yet, but you've taken me back, broken pieces and all. You haven't tried to force the pieces together; you've let me work on things my own way." She laid her palm against my cheek. "And Edward, I love you. I didn't think it was possible, but I do, I love you. And I need you to know that."

iI/i didn't think it was possible. I stared back at her, uncomprehending for the briefest of moments before I realized I had not responded.

"Bella, I have loved you for so long, I don't know how I existed without you. While you were gone, I was empty, a shell, and from the moment I got you back, I have been nothing but…." I searched for an adequate word and could find none. "There are no words to describe how I feel. You are my reason for being."

Her eyes shined and her smile was brighter than any sun. "I'd like to kiss you now," she managed to say in a shy voice.

"I'd like that very much," I laughed and leaned closer to her. She was just so perfectly _Bella_.

She giggled and closed the distance, wrapping her arms around my neck and pressing her lips to mine.

Her touch was smooth and tender, and, try as I might, I could not think of any time I had ever been happier. Then I stopped trying, and lost myself in her.

We never needed to stop to catch our breaths, but we knew at some time we would need to return to our family eventually. Dawn was creeping up on us when Bella pulled away for the last time and laughed.

"I never thought I would use what Tanya was trying to teach me," she grinned, "But now I couldn't be more grateful that she forced her knowledge on me."

I raised an eyebrow. "What kind of 'knowledge,' pray tell?"

"She told me that I just needed to get you alone, talk to you, and keep close, and you wouldn't be able to stay away." She glanced down, and had she been human, I knew she would have been bright red.

"What did I say about keeping your eyes from me?" I rebuked softly and titled her face back towards mine.

She smiled and continued. "She was right, though. I didn't believe her. And I don't think without her support I would have been able to tell you these things tonight."

I kissed her forehead lightly. "Remind me to thank her. I'm glad you did. I have been wanting to tell you that I love you so badly. And to hear you say it… honestly, Bella, I don't think I could possibly be happier."

"I love you, Edward."

Grinning, I stood and took her by the hand. "And I love you. More than anything. Now let's get back before they send a search party out for us."

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_AN: And that's it! That's all she wrote! This is the end of_ Love Is Watching Someone Die. _I hope you liked it. Seriously, thank you guys SO much for sticking with me. It's been almost a year since I posted the first chapter with the intent on it being just an open-ended one-shot._

_If you like what I write, be sure to put me on author alert, I'm working on my next fic, which is an All-Human thing, and I'm excited for it. I'm writing it for the Twilight Big Bang, which you can find out more about on livejournal. I'm also still writing with the Twilight T00bs, so you'll get the occaisional one-shot from me._

_Again, thank you all so much! I can't believe the amount of watchers and reviews this story received. Y'all know how to make my day. Hearts for you!  
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